Posts Tagged: Chris Christie

Governor Of New Jersey, After Lowering State's Tone, Elevates His Own

"He didn't call them 'idiots.' He was respectful." —The governor of New Jersey now passes the "respectful" test by not calling hecklers "idiots." I can't wait until we set the bar so low that even a couple of "motherfuckers" don't knock it over.


Is This Why Chris Christie's Face Was All Over The Place?

It is hard to believe that a guy who made his name bellowing at teachers and other low-level municipal employees and who cannot give a speech on any topic without relating it to his own experience, background or emotional state might not be a selfless paragon of virtue whose goal is to improve the lives of all of those he supposedly serves, but it's a crazy world where nothing makes sense, I guess.


Chris Christie Really Enjoying This "Insulting the Republicans" Thing

"You can’t expect to be a leader of all the people and be divisive. Someone asked me, Why did Mitt Romney lose? And I said because he got less votes than Barack Obama, that's why." —New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has decided to keep his new, post-Sandy personality.


What Happened? Ask A Guy Who Didn't Watch the RNC Who Follows Liberals on Twitter

What happened at the Republican National Convention?

I dunno, I heard a lot of people say that Chris Christie was really fat and is going to be our biggest President since Taft in 2016.

What about the dudes running for President?

I heard that that Paul Ryan guy doesn't buy suits that fit him and is like a big liar? I heard they were both really, really rich but for some reason refused to get their clothes tailored, and they are both definitely not off-the-rack sizes, although Mitt is closer. Also some people wanted to rock Paul Ryan's body.

What was the highlight of the convention?

Something about [...]


Is Your iPhone Making You Fat?

"Gender-bending chemicals in mobile phones, toys and sunglasses may be fuelling the obesity epidemic, a report warns today. The chemicals – which are unavoidable in the modern world – may also help trigger diabetes, the review of hundreds of individual pieces of research concluded. Some are found in mobile phone cases and tin cans, others in shampoos and shower curtains."


Report: Chris Christie Will Sit Out Race

New Jersey governor Chris Christie will hold a press conference at 1 PM today in which he will announce his future plans, which almost certainly include a couple of stromboli and plate of cannoli. Because he's fat.


How A Bunch Of People With Twitter Accounts Reacted To The Earthquake

Since everything that happens must now microblogged within seconds of—if not actually during—its occurence, let's take a look at how The Great East Coast Shakefest of 2011 was covered on Twitter.

Some chose to tie the news to current events:

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I think Chris Christie just jumped into the raceless than a minute ago via TweetDeck Favorite Retweet ReplyAlex Pareenepareene


New Jersey Governor No Longer Applauded For Shouting At People: Report

Chris Christie's scandals have so damaged his standing in New Jersey that his constituents—who once stood to cheer as the state's most powerful official mocked and berated any average citizen with the temerity to voice a difference of opinion over the governor's actions—now seem unwilling to gaze upon him with adoration as he berates and bellows at ordinary New Jerseyans attempting to voice discomfort with the direction in which things are going, reports the New York Times.


Scott Walker Goes Shooting For The Presidency

Wow is it cold out. The deer must think the same thing as I haven't seen a thing:

— Governor Walker (@GovWalker) November 25, 2013

"Like riding my Harley and watching the Packers, going hunting is one of my favorite Wisconsin traditions." —The office of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker.

The attempt to sell Scott Walker as the anti-Chris Christie has begun in earnest. One angle of this is for Walker's new best friend, Washington Post columnist and Walker biography co-author Marc Thiessen to frame the governor as of an entirely different temperament then Christie.1 (Can you guess in what way?)

But an entirely [...]


Chris Christie Will Do Literally Anything, Including Be Nice To Barack Obama, To Get Bruce Springsteen's Approval

Chris Christie's sudden respect for Barack Obama has enraged conservatives and the Romney campaign, but it makes sense when you remember that Chris Christie loves Bruce Springsteen more than anything, and a disaster just hit New Jersey, and Springsteen will obviously do a benefit. But Springsteen, who is such a Famous Democrat that he actually campaigns with Obama, refuses to have anything to do with Christie. What might change Bruce's feelings for the Republican governor of New Jersey? What might make The Boss finally give a little love back to his biggest (!) fan, Chris Christie?

This should do it:

Springsteen To Perform At Sandy Benefit [...]


Chris Christie's Expanding Fanbase

What do people like to watch on the Internet? Kittens, obviously. Babies. And, apparently, fat guys yelling at teachers. Internet, you creep me out sometimes.


Don't Catch Obesity

Uh oh: "We've heard obesity can be 'spread' between friends when we copy each other's eating habits, but a new study in mice suggests obesity could actually be infectious. That's right, infectious. As in, something you can catch. In the study, mice engineered to have a particular immune deficiency developed fatty liver disease and got fatter when fed a Western-style diet. But strikingly, when these immune-deficient mice were put in the same cage as healthy mice, the healthy mice started to come down with symptoms of liver disease, and also got fatter."


The Chris Christie-Madoff Attack Ad That Writes Itself

In their ever-widening search for somebody who is not Mitt Romney, conservatives are now souring on Rick Perry and turning their desperate, flailing hopes toward Chris Christie. For his part, Christie says he's not running (but Republicans note that he keeps acting the part).

But should the New Jersey governor decide to dive into the shallow end that is the GOP nomination race, here's a lesser known part of his past that might doom him in the general election.


Keeping It Classy In Jersey

"You know who he reminds me of? Mr. Potter from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life,’ the mean old bastard who screws everybody." —New Jersey Senate President Stephen Sweeney is angry at Governor Chris Christie, whom he calls (among other things) "a bully and a punk," "spoiled," and "a rotten prick."


People Pretend To Debate Whether Or Not Chris Christie Can Be Considered A "Victim"

If you are anything like me you are enjoying the current Chris Christie imbroglio way too much, so you should probably read this so your joy can at least be better-informed than what you get from the front of the tabloids.


Yelling At People Weaker Than You Makes You A Fighter: Poll

"A new Rutgers-Eagleton poll out today says 72 percent of respondents agree with [New Jersey governor] Christie — that the description of him as a 'fighter' is more apt than 'bully.'"


Old Man Mocks Fat Man

"I'm flying Southwest and I oftentimes take the middle seat. I don't think Christie is taking the middle seat. So I'm doing my part for austerity." —California's Jerry Brown fires back at portly New Jersey pol Chris Christie, who recently referred to the Golden State governor as an "old retread." As delightful as it is to see politicians spar, I am struck by the notion of how horrible it would feel to board a plane and realize you'd be sitting next to either one of these gentlemen. I guess if I had to choose I'd pick Brown, but only because of the certainty that I'd be asleep within ten [...]


Don't Worry About Your Fat

"Our better understanding of obesity, as witnessed by an impressive amount of publications in the field over the last decades, suggests that body fat can be both detrimental and protective. Simplistic messaging that body fat is 'bad' and weight loss is 'good' for our health can be misleading and ignores the truth about the biological response and side effects of weight loss, as well as the importance of fat gain in maintaining body homeostasis in a 'toxic' environment. Fat gain is part of a regulatory strategy that permits the recovery of energy balance and body weight stability in a world that has increasingly added obesogenic factors to our lifestyle [...]


The Fat List

Here you will find 28 synonyms for fatness. Your goal is to arrange them in order of formality. The winner gets to be an administrator in the Miami-Dade public school district.


Obese People Like Fatty Food

A study has found that obese people have a harder time not eating high-calorie food than people who are not obese. Because of their brains.