As we unhappily knew and noted way back in mid-2010, it is extremely worrisome to live with cats, because they are trying to infect us with a parasite that changes our behavior. And here is a new substantial review of the lastest thinking on Toxoplasma gondii and human behavior. If you have ever been near a cat, it'll FREAK YOU OUT, at first. Everybody run! Cats are in control of our minds! (And here, try this on for size: "infected men like the smell of cat pee.") But then... it's possible that those of us who have been infected by our cats have an evolutionary advantage? And it might not be that bad? And also, really, we can't even blame the cats: most people who do get it, which isn't everyone at all, won't get Toxoplasma from cats, but from meat, vegetables or drinking water. VEGETABLES ARE CONTROLLING OUR MINDS. QUICK, PANIC FASTER.

Is a monstrous feline stalking Knifecrime Island, ready to pounce with its blade-like claws and slash all that the island nation's benighted people hold dear? Yes. And yes.

Dogs "have similar social skills to two-year-old children and are more likely to listen if owners look them in eye," according to Science, while cats can set houses on fire. I think this is the final proof we've been looking for in the debate over which animal is superior. READ MORE

This is just a remarkable performance of the holiday classic. I've watched it several times already and will almost certainly do so again. Then I need to go see the brain doctor, because something bad is clearly going on up there in my head.

11. I wish cats were a little bit taller, I wish cats were a baller. READ MORE

"While visiting her mother in Pennsylvania this month, Lauren Pytel, a 47-year-old high school English teacher who lives in Tudor City, found herself pining for her cats, Tiggles ap Caduet and Munchie Effexorov, and their recently deceased siblings, Claritin and Zoloft." READ MORE

If you've never quite understood the Schrödinger's cat experiment, maybe this animated explanation will help you. Or maybe not; I still don't get it. But, you know, it's quantum mechanics, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it too much. All I know is that if a cat's in that box, there is probably a bunch of cat crap in there as well. And this is why I am not a scientist.

Well, here we are. The Internet is done, as discovered here: Introducing the 6 Packs 9 Lives 2012 Calendar. Yup, scantily clad guys with cats. It's for charity... CAT CHARITY.