And Now, the 84th Reason I Hate Adderall @2:10 PM
Basically all my friends take Adderall. It's sort of fine? I mean, it's not like all of them are on the heroin or something. And as far as I can gather, most of the effects of The Ivy Speed, as I like to call it, are internal—by which I mean, I can't always tell! I wouldn't know. (Though I can tell when you're writing on Adderall, yes I can. That is reason #52 why I hate it. All that focusing really does something to your syntax. Something bad!) Still, I hate it, and find it boring, and I hate its massive over-use in young people (reason #17) though it's totally okay that you use it, and I am in a very glassy house over here as a smoker, which is probably way, way more socially and ethically annoying. But the 84th reason I hate your Adderall comes from the recent Society of Toxicology annual meeting, by way of NPR today. READ MORE 40
"Why is my cat in better shape than I am? I go to the gym six days a week and torture myself there with fake skiing machines and iron maiden-like devices for hours on end. I eat all sorts of healthy food and pay attention to whether my fat is saturated or not and whether I am getting enough stuff like omega-3, whatever that is. And he just sleeps all day and eats whatever crap I feed him, plus bugs. Will I have to eat bugs? I don’t want to." @12:06 PM 8
The Choire Sicha Memorial Cat Video Post @4:20 PM
We could not end Animal Day at The Awl without the internet's most common currency, the cat video. I have to say, this clip—which is actually a "re-enactment" of an incident that occurred earlier, is somewhat shocking to me. Like, the cat was totally frazzled by a balloon stuck to it before and you thought it was so amusing that you were going to do it again? I am by no means an animal person (no disrespect intended to my colleague Cat the Cat), but I've got to say, in light of this and those "let's toss our confused and frightened pets into the snow" videos, it seems an awful lot like being a cat owner makes a person remarkably hostile toward their charges. [Via] 34
Cat Blizzard Videos Made By People Who Should Have Cats Taken Away @11:29 AM
You know what happens when it snows a whole bunch and people have cats? Yes. They throw them in the snow. A trawl of YouTube helps us identify the people we should locate and go to their houses and forcibly remove their cats, who are all being thrown in the snow because, I dunno, there were no children to lock in the basement or whatever. Update: Interesting! Some people are already removing their cat-tossing videos that were posted here. READ MORE 37
Bear Meets Cat In Battle For Animal Supremacy @9:00 AM
The provenance of this video is unknown, but I don't care if it's been all over the Internets already; on a dull and grimy day like this one where you'd rather just pull up the covers and listen to the new Tindersticks record—great, btw—than do anything else, it is a good enough way to start the morning. And the best part is the laughing baby in the background. Sigh. Mondays. 18
This cat is freaking me out! @3:50 PM 19
Casper The Bus-Riding British Cat, 1998-2010 @12:25 PM
Sad news from the world of feline transport: "A cat which became famous in Britain for riding on the buses around the southern English city of Plymouth has died after being run over, media reported." 12-year-old Casper "would habitually leave [his owner's] home, trot across the street to the bus stop, wait his turn in line and board the bus. He even had a favorite seat — in the middle of the aisle — where he would sit until he was ready to get off." Drivers on the route would regularly let the cat off at his stop. "Casper touched many people's lives and clearly had a very exciting life traveling around Plymouth and who knows where else. I suspect he's now exploring heaven and is telling all the other cats up there about the many adventures he had," said a spokesperson for the bus company. 22
World's Best Cat Video Is Most Likely Also Metaphor For Your Day @1:20 PM
That, certainly, is what my day is like. 23
Immersion Therapy For People Who Are Afraid of Cats @12:20 PM
This guy is really afraid of cats and his friend is trying to help him with his fears! That is so helpful and nice. 8
Local gay cat (pictured, above) somehow loses gay blog gay animal gay holiday gay outfit contest. (NB That is not our Cat, it is merely a local cat heretofore unknown to us but decidedly a highly enjoyable one.) 37
Adorable Kitty Just Wants To Help Bust Speeders @9:04 AM
Mark my words, this cat is gonna be a STAR. 9
This Cat Looks Like This Other Cat @10:20 AM
THIS CAT was trapped in an SUV and driven across town. (Cat survived.)
THIS CAT was dressed up like a literary character for the New Yorker's "Critterati" photo contest, which is really a thing that is happening. (Cat may not survive.) 10
The Hot New Mary Gaitskill Game Sweeping the Country @9:30 AM
Lots of people are playing a little game this week—you can play along at home, it's easy! The game is called: On Which Page Of Mary Gaitskill's Nutty Memoir About Her Lost Cat And Everything Else Will You Start Weeping? It's not a fun game but here we are in the hot lonely wasteland of the end of August, so what else do we have? Also it helps if you have ever met the lady herself. Last I saw her was in the downstairs lobby of Carnegie Hall's Zankel auditorium. She looked pretty much like a witch who'd just come out of the woods; indeed, she had just come back from a mistaken trip to Yaddo or somewhere, and it was like she was in a psychic bubble, privately living out a hybrid of her own private Kate Bush video and The Blair Witch Project. Anyway! See if you can make it past page three, which includes the line: "I said I had fallen in love with the cat, and that I was afraid that by exposing him to human love I had awakened in him a love that was unnatural and perhaps too big for him." Or you know… the dreaded page 4, in which The Fresh Air Fund is introduced! 22
Domestic Animals Now Competing With Birds And Swine @4:15 PM
An increasing number of cats and dogs are infected with MRSA—the antibiotic resistant "superbug" created by English people's aversion to washing themselves. However, it seems that the animals are catching the infection from their human owners, rather than other animals, so I guess that's good. Or is it? As someone who spent the day with a vomiting cat I'm not sure how to feel about all of this. I'm gonna settle on "concerned." 0
Science: Cats Dumber Than Dogs @2:55 PM
Psychology lecturer Britta Osthaus, of England's Canterbury Christ Church University, revealed results of a study in which "the thought processes of 15 cats were tested by attaching food to the end of lengths of string and observing whether they could figure out that pulling the line brought the treats closer. The cats had no problem with tackling single pieces of string. However, when faced with two options, experts discovered that unlike their canine counterparts, cats were unable to consistently pick a baited string over a dummy." Obviously, this proves once and for all that dogs are smarter than cats. We asked Cat, The Awl's office cat, if he had any comment on the study and the interpretation of its results. Here is his response. READ MORE 21
Domestic Cats: 10,000 Years Old And Totally Mesopotamian @9:43 AM
House mice come from India; tame cats come from Iraq—about 10,000 years ago. And in case you were wondering why cats weren't as overbred as dogs? Actual scientists claim it's because cats "lack any inclination for performing most tasks that would be useful to humans." Stupid scientists. 7
The Best Cat In The World: Is He For You? @9:43 AM
I can't believe I am writing this but: If there is anyone out there who would like a cat? I met the best cat! Last night! He is a former deli cat! He is awesome! He has these little blue-green eyes and is a big fella and is all grey-striped and has an old scratch on his nose. He has seen some stuff and he is yet super-friendly! I am so embarrassed! He is currently in captivity at PetCo in Union Square in New York City! He has some dumb name like Erik or something. But you can change that! Seriously this cat rocks! I am going to go visit him again today! 28
In Which A Cat Is Abandoned @1:41 PM
Vice magazine has finally found its sweet spot, in this article entitled I DITCHED MY CAT IN THE HAMPTONS OVER THE WEEKEND, in which the author allegedly ditches his/her cat in the Hamptons over the weekend. Update: Crazily typical and yet still surprising! Now s/he swears that s/he still has precious kittens in custody. 15
