Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
5

Everything You Have Needed to Know in 2014 (So Far)

goodbearToday, in the Washington Post, Eve Fairbanks asks:

Could "all you need to know" be the most insidious, reductive, and lame story formula currently conquering our reading life? Everywhere you turn there’s another purported ne plus ultra explainer purporting to tell us "absolutely everything we could possibly need to know" about some current event, some curiosity of history, some deep mystery of life on Earth.

Good question! "All you need to know" can be distilled down further to the no-less-demanding formulation of "need to know." It's still just as chiding, just as exhaustive, just as needy, when you consider the full range of its implications: You are required to know what is in this document in order to be a complete human; what is contained herein is Soylent for your brain, the stripped down, crucial bits required for intellectual survival; and all knowledge that exists out of this space about a given topic (or anything, really) is wholly unnecessary. Once the diktat of "necessary knowledge" has been whittled down to its core, the true scope of its permutations can reveal itself in full.

And there are so many things to know. Here is everything (or at least most of the things, since I gave up fourteen pages into the Google search) that you have needed to know in 2014, according to the Washington Post:

July 22
What you need to know about the AFC East

What you need to know about the NFC North

What you need to know about the AFC North

What you need to know about the NFC East

July 20
What Metro riders need to know for Monday

July 18
What you need to know about Boehner’s plan to sue Obama

A Florida judge just voided the state’s congressional districts. Here’s what you need to know.

July 3
This tweet tells you everything you need to know about how Hobby Lobby fits into the 2014 election

July 2
Everything you really need to know about Songza (… and every other music-streaming site)

What you need to know to have a fabulous July Fourth in D.C.

July 1
Everything you need to know about the SCOTUS contraception ruling

June 29
Missed the Sunday shows? Here’s all you need to know.

June 15
Everything you need to know from the Sunday shows in 5 videos

June 11
Here’s what you need to know about the men who could become Afghanistan’s next president

June 10
Here’s what you need to know about Donald Sterling’s lawsuit against the NBA

June 9
Five numbers you need to know from the Veterans Affairs department audit

June 4
Everything you need to know about California’s primary results

Everything you really need to know about net neutrality, in one passive-aggressive Netflix error message

June 2
Everything you need to know about the EPA’s proposed rule on coal plants

May 30
Everything you need to know about the VA — and the scandals engulfing it

May 29
The five things you need to know about Snowden’s first U.S. television interview

Everything you need to know about Michelle Obama’s school food fight

May 28
Four things you need to know about the guy who beat Ralph Hall

May 23
The 10 things you need to know about Julian Castro

May 19
Everything you need to know about the alleged Chinese military hacker squad the U.S. just indicted

May 17
What you need to know about Julián Castro, the likely next head of HUD

May 16
Everything you need to know about Ohio Governor (and maybe 2016′er) John Kasich

May 15
Fall 2014 TV schedule: Snapshot of everything you need to know

Today, the FCC will vote on the future of the Internet. Here’s everything you need to know.

May 14
Everything you need to know about U.S. health, in 8 charts and 3 paragraphs

May 13
Here’s what you need to know about the kidnapped Nigerian girls, Boko Haram and how the U.S. is getting involved

Everything you need to know about primary day in Nebraska and West Virginia

May 12
Primaries everywhere! This chart tells you the ones you need to know.

May 7
What you need to know about Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba Group

May 2
Everything you need to know if you’re heading to Nationals Park on Saturday

Everything you need to know about betting on the Kentucky Derby

May 1
Everything you need to know about executions in the United States

April 28
What you need to know about the Fed’s meeting this week

April 25
Five things you need to know about the Northwestern union vote

April 24
Everything you need to know about Capital — the hot summer beach read

April 23
Everything you need to know about popes and saints

April 22
Everything you need to know about Aereo, the Supreme Court and the future of TV

Everything you need to know about today’s Florida special primary election

Everything you need to know about the D.C. license changeover

Everything you need to know about the latest round of Supreme Court cases

April 15
Everything you need to know about the long fight between Cliven Bundy and the federal government

April 10
Everything you need to know about Bill Clinton’s Social Security ID card proposal. And why it won’t work.

What you need to know about Stephen Colbert taking over the ‘Late Show’

April 4
What you need to know about the policy fallout from the Fort Hood shooting

April 3
What you need to know about the Supreme Court’s new money-in-politics decision

April 1
Everything you need to know about the Senate unemployment insurance deal — and why it might never become law

March 27
Everything you need to know about CAT, the Secret Service’s baddest bad boys

What you need to know about the latest health-care delay

March 24
Everything you need to know about the Washington landslide

Here’s what you need to know about the Hobby Lobby case

Everything you need to know about the Brown-Shaheen ‘People’s Pledge’ ruckus

March 19
Nine things you need to know before filling out your NCAA tournament bracket

March 18
Everything you need to know about Michelle Obama’s trip to China

March 12
What you need to know about the Federal Reserve’s new cast members

March 11
Everything you need to know about today’s special election in Florida

March 10
Everything you need to know about Apple’s latest iOS 7 update

Everything you need to know about what happened at CPAC

March 5
Everything you need to know about Obama’s budget

What you need to know about the SAT

March 4
Seven things you absolutely need to know about Obama’s budget

February 27
Everything you need to know about Google Glass

February 26
Everything you need to know about this year’s Oscar nominees, in less than six minutes

February 19
What you need to know about the CBO’s minimum-wage report

February 18
What you need to know about Ukraine

February 7
What you need to know about Putin’s popularity

January 22
Everything you need to know about the Chris Christie investigations

January 18
Everything you need to know about Common Core

January 17
Everything you need to know about Obama’s NSA reforms, in plain English

January 14
What you need to know about the omnibus appropriations bill

January 10
Target breach: What you need to know

January 9
The 10 things you need to know about Bridge-gate

January 8
Everything you need to know about the war on poverty

January 2
All you need to know for wild-card weekend

January 1
Everything you need to know about life under Obamacare

I'm sure there will be more things we need to know in the coming days.

Image of a bear who knows everything he needs to know by Cloudtail

5 Comments / Post A Comment

102576993@twitter (#283,115)

Jon Snow's parents don't matter because the story is a deconstruction of fantasy stories about hidden princes with mysterious origins, not a celebration of them.

deepomega (#1,720)

@102576993@twitter Yeah, except it's actually a total failure of that deconstruction, and GRRM is clearly SUPER interested in all the things he claims to not care about. As evidenced by the prevalence of very accurate prophecies, religions which are totally all secretly the same religion, and mysterious princes with a claim to the throne.

melis (#1,854)

I would pay good money to watch you two have this argument in a TV panel format.

deepomega (#1,720)

@melis After years of work, I've figured out how to monetize commenting!

grendan (#269,504)

Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. You heard it here first.

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