Thursday, June 12th, 2014

Do You Have a Question for Evelyn Everlady?

There are few things I hate in this world more than unsolved mysteries. (SURE, EVEN, YES, WHERE IS THAT PLANE?) To that end, we have left you hanging regarding resolution of the tales of Evelyn Everlady, a woman in New York City who once had the worst boyfriend in the world ever, and who brought us the unfortunately now-real phrase Negroni Season. (As well as the tale of Hank the dog and the chilling story of Foxwoods.)

Next week she's going to bring us up to speed, answering all my questions—but also yours, if you like! If you have any questions for her, you can leave them here, or shoot them to, and we will put them to her. I can tell you in advance that the terrible story of the worst boyfriend in the world… takes an even more terrible turn. Men! Can't execute them all, can't ban them from society entirely. Or can you.

Screenshot of Shutterstock search results for "all the single ladies."

13 Comments / Post A Comment

Oh my God oh my God oh my God.

I'm so excited my typing fingers are locking up. That is all.

jolie (#16)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose MEEEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOOOO SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (especially because I HATE the New Internet and want to support any and all attempts to bring back the old one that I loved so much.)


jolie (#16)

@Maura Johnston I actually have one of those! (Because I'm trying to bring back the old internet, I guess?)

Ralph Haygood (#13,154)

"Men! Can't execute them all, can't ban them from society entirely. Or can you.": I'd be okay with just phasing us out gradually – no need for anything abrupt or drastic.

laurel (#4,035)

@Ralph Haygood One of my bosses was a beekeeper. One late fall morning he went out to find that the females had kicked all the male drones out of the hive to conserve food over the winter. They were on the ground beneath the hive box, moving slowly and barely buzzing in the cold and he was like, "So that's what that'll be like."

Also: Yay! Evelyn!

blergh (#177,628)


496693429@twitter (#278,351)

"He was dead set on a chocolate Lab — bred from the same bloodline of his previous dog (he was very concerned about proper breeding and in this respect was very much like his mother, but that’s another tale for another time) — and we had long debates on what we’d name it."

Is this another time?

hockeymom (#143)

Went back and read all these pieces again…so good.
Then I got all sad when I read the comments. Where did all these commenters go? I hope they are OK and leading exotic, exciting lives in places so fabulous, so remote that the internet can not reach them:)


@hockeymom : Mais ou sont les commenters d'antan, etc. etc.

deepomega (#1,720)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose This, too, shall pass.

@hockeymom I miss HiredGoons's "*call me"-ing

Oh come the fuck on! Negroni Season is a real thing now? But only a total boozehound whore would even dream up such a thing as Negroni Season!

*straightens blue blazer; reapplies aftershave*

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