The Twilight Of The Tortilla: What People Really Order At Chipotle

aslkfsssLast week, I sent a Chipotle survey to 100 people. 64 of them responded. This is what they shared.

How do you order your Chipotle?

81.3% of people don’t know ordering online is the way to go.

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How long do you wait for your Chipotle?

People don’t like waiting more than 10 minutes for the perfect lunch.

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What form does your Chipotle order take?

In which I learned that people actually order the tacos. [Ed note: This is shocking: a Midtown NYC Chipotle is no more burrito place than Shake Shack is a hot dog place, or Starbucks is a sandwich shop. Is this a paleo thing, a carb thing, a calorie-count-on-the-menu thing? As New York goes, so goes the nation? Surely there are high-level meetings about this happening at Chipotle HQ.]

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Main ingredient?

Veggies at #2! Who’d have thunk? I hadn’t thunk. Good for veggies.

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What kind of beans?

9.4% of people live dangerously.

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What kind of rice?

A surprisingly even split, complete with an even more surprising number of carb-free weirdos.

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Guac? It’s extra.

60.9% of people don’t mind throwing money into the trash can.

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Have you ever ordered a margarita?

I ordered a margarita once, but it was before they started selling the fancy Patron ones. And I don’t think I would pay for a fancy Patron one at a Chipotle.

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Dine in or takeout?

I enjoy eating Chipotle at my desk at lunch. I enjoy gchatting and clicking through various links on the internet while scooping the contents of my burrito bowl with the chips I bought for $1 extra. I enjoy the feeling of total satisfaction when I take the last bite and realize that my lunch was, indeed, perfect.

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How often do you go to Chipotle?

34.4%!!!!! 34.4%??????!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

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Selected quotes from respondents:

“If i work from home i sometimes order chips with my burrito bowl but would never do that at work because that is monster behavior.” – B.D.

“The burritos have so many calories that going to Chipotle is signing up for guilt, at least inside my head it is.” – R.J.

“THE PACE OF THE ORDERING PROCESS MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS I COULD DIE.” – J.R.

“It’s good but I kinda don’t get why it’s a Big Deal? But I don’t eat much fast food, so there’s that. Damn. Now I’m hungry for a margarita. (Didn’t know they served those! Maybe I’ll try to understand the Big Deal now?)” – J.K.

“Extra $ for guac is crazy, not worth it. It sorta enrages me.” – Anon

“Chipotle is garbage but so am I and I eat garbage.” – D.D.

“I LOVE CHIPOTLE AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKE IT FUN. IM A VERY HAPPY PERSON. Sadly there are no Chipotles near my work or home, but I have it any time I find myself near one, and I’m hungry. Guac!” – R.H.

“I live in Manhattan, but tend to avoid Chipotles here and only visit them when I’m in the suburbs because they’re usually busy on a workday lunch hour rush when it occurs to me that I might be interested in eating a burrito bowl. So my strat isn’t as aggressive or proactive as it probably could be. I like a mellow, strat-free burrito-until-I-feel-like-I’m-going-to-vomit experience. Also, the chips and guac rule!” – C.F.

“I used to eat at Chipotle 1-3 times a week, for like a year. I ate myself out of it, went off for a while, and now I’m back to once a month. But man is it delicious. Everyone I know goes through that addiction phase at some point..” – V.S.

“While I rarely partake in them, the margaritas are one of the most underappreciated items on offer—and they’re not even off-menu. They’re pretty large, and more importantly, strong. Plus, most people would never expect that you had a boozy lunch when you’re seemingly only dipping out to go to Chipotle.” – J.F.

And, finally:

“I actually hate Chipotle, and I don’t care who knows it.” – MEREDITH HAGGERTY @MANYMANYWORDS

Bobby Finger orders however he pleases.

(Image from Animakitty)