Friday, May 23rd, 2014
10

A Drone Tried to Kill Me at a Gizmodo Party

People drop things on the Internet and run all the time. So we have to ask. In this edition, Hausfrau magazine editor Stephen Kosloff tells us more about what it’s like to have a drone smack into your head and cut you up while you’re trying to play some foosball at a Gizmodo party.

Stephen! So what happened here?

I was celebrating closing an ad deal for my magazine, and by “celebrating,” I mean drinking alone, as usual. While walking from Bar A to Bar B, I stumbled on a Gizmodo party on Mulberry Street. I flashed my business card, said “Media,” and was admitted.
 
I was like, “Great, now I can get drunk before I continue drinking.”
 
This was a “House of the Future” party—a sexy sponsorship tie-in of some sort. It was a large auditorium with a number of faux “rooms” all kitted out with really excellent gear: TVs, kayaks, sofas, and one remote-controlled drone. 
 
I tried on various protective headgear, helmets and such. Took some selfies (as one does).
 
Next, a few people gathered around the drone and fired it up! The drone shot up over the fake walls, and was lost to sight. It crashed somewhere in the distance. I thought to myself, “That could have injured someone,” but I didn’t speak up, a decision I attribute to my low self-esteem.
 
IMG_3230A couple of minutes later, a few folks had the drone on a table, and they fired it up again. It veered with the greatest violence into a nearby plant, shredded the shit out of its leaves, then crashed into a wall.
 
I was like, “Whatever,” and started playing foosball with a nice guy. Next thing I know, WHAM!!!!!!! Right in my fucking head. The drone.

IMG_3228It was mildly upsetting; not very painful, but a big shock. It knocked me pretty good. I knew right away that it was the drone because I’d seen it “acting out” earlier.
 
What happened next? Did you and everyone else there freak out? And, most importantly: Are you OK?

I went straight to the bathroom, using my Obama T-shirt to stanch the bleeding. I was concerned for a minute that I would need stitches, but I didn’t. The whole time, the editor of Gizmodo was there helping me out. He was mortified, and very helpful. I feel bad for him. He seemed to be freaked out.

IMG_3229The Gizmodo and event staff were very helpful and apologetic. They got me some band-aids and stuff to clean the cuts with. It got my right ear and two spots on my forehead.
 
After the party, I went to Bar B in my bloody t-shirt and continued getting drunk.



Lesson learned (if any)?

If you are attending a party that features both drones and helmets, and you put a helmet on to take a selfie, do not take the helmet off until you leave the party.

Just one more thing.

Drones make bad party toys.





Matthew J.X. Malady is a writer and editor in New York.

10 Comments / Post A Comment

14367971@twitter (#275,125)

Right. Drones don't make good party toys.

But what about the drones the US military sends out? The ones that kill a target AND anyone else who happens to be near. And what about the little niggly detail that the target was given a death sentence just on someone's say so?

I am not condoning terrorism.

But drones are NOT the way to deal with it.

Drones are just another form of the same thing – terrorism.

@14367971@twitter controversial statement ^

@14367971@twitter Did I date you in college?

KarenUhOh (#19)

Mmm mm de dah de dah la la la la negligent supervision against Defendant Gawker Media LLC de dah de la de dah. . .

IBentMyWookie (#133)

@KarenUhOh What's the standard of care for Kinja?

KarenUhOh (#19)

@IBentMyWookie "Reasonable troll."

Pj Taintz@facebook (#275,137)

what I learned from this article is dont wear obama shirts!

14055429@twitter (#275,148)

So did the spinning blade catch you or was is another element of the quadcopeter?

holdup!holdmyphone! (#274,038)

Clunk!

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