Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

Coffee Merely Good

"Whatever happened to good?" asks the white man with graying hair, dad khakis and an alarmingly large face as he fills his mug with coffee brewed from beans which were picked by poor farmers who make less than a few dollars a day for working the vast plantations that produce the beans, which are shipped to large industrial facilities to be toasted, pulverized into a dry, soil-like mass and eventually dumped into large blue tubs bearing the logo of Maxwell House, a billion-dollar brand of Kraft Foods, mega-purveyor of chemically ingenious foodstuffs, which is keen to regain its status as the biggest coffee seller in the United States, not by producing the best commodity coffee product, but by promoting the virtues of the merely good with a twenty to twenty-five million dollar advertising campaign. Indeed, what did happen to good?

11 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh (#19)


mmmark (#4,458)

Matt, I hope we can expect some text-joy when hovering over these links in future, but maybe not all, posts.

freetzy (#7,018)

I'm pretty far from a coffee snob, but I think they don't mean "good" so much as "eh, it's brown and hot."

shostakobitch (#1,692)

@freetzy The same could be said of my stool.

LondonLee (#922)


People preferring pour-overs?

So it's a campaign aimed at bodega owners?

Are they implying the moon landing was not good but not great? Someone should tell Neil Armstrong he was settling.

melis (#1,854)

someone please point me in the direction of the best slashfic featuring this guy and the guy from the cadillac commercial

copyranter (#440)

OK, Buchanan: I know you're a "coffee enthusiast", but…GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE AD CRITIQUING GAME, FUCKFACE. (You're waaaay too smart).

Matt Buchanan (#232,205)

@copyranter hi mark

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