I'm Not Going To Coachella This Year

I’m not going to Coachella this year. Since 1999, the music festival has been raging each year in the dusty Empire Polo Club of Indio, California. Each year I mildly look forward to the announcement of the line-up. What bands that I don’t really care about will be named the “headliners”? What bands that I mildly like will be in much smaller type, in a strange order, that makes no sense based on either record sales or fan base or any other metric. Ooh, I’ll think, finally, a festival where I can see both Mogwai and Girl Talk and Laura Mvula and maybe a flashback performance of the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion! Sure, I’d totally love to see a set by The Magician. And Laurent Garnier! God I used to love Laurent Garnier. Also upon Googling, some of these other bands sound kind of okay.

But once again, this year, like every year that has come before, I’m definitely not going to Coachella. Seems really far. Seems kinda sweaty and tiring. Probably loud. Also I have access to all this music in my house. Once again, for the 14th consecutive Coachella, I’m totally not attending.