Tuesday, January 28th, 2014
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Bill de Blasio's New York Full Of Snakes In Trash Cans

"Three large Boa constrictors were found trying to slither out of a duffle bag that mysteriously ended up in a garbage can near a Brooklyn auto-body shop Monday, authorities said."

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Wait, the worker who spotted the bag thought there might be a baby inside, and his reaction was to call the cops instead of opening the bag and helping the hypothetical baby? Admittedly, it turned out better for him in this case, but still.

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