Tuesday, November 19th, 2013
3

Evil Trees Are Quite Literally Making A Pie Of Our Subways

Further updates from our losing the war against trees:

Already this season, slippery rail conditions caused by leaves have delayed Metro-North and Long Island Rail Road trains more than 700 times.

On the subway, the B and Q trains have been held up regularly as they go aboveground through Brooklyn’s leafier precincts.

How can fluttering foliage bring down a mighty rail network?

The culprit is pectin, the same stuff that causes jelly to jell.

It’s in leaves.

When trains run over wet leaves, “it actually creates a slurry,” said John Pesich, a vice president at Metro-North.

Are we even a society at this point? Or are we just animals.

3 Comments / Post A Comment

HereKitty (#2,713)

The Awl proprietors seem to be working at cross purposes. Say the war against trees succeeds, and the denuded Earth experiences the inevitable consequences, namely drying out from constant exposure to the sun and eventually becoming a barren wasteland dotted with dust dunes and pocked with craters. In other words … the Earth becomes the MOON.

@HereKitty – But taking out the trees could also be a crucial prerequisite victory in the war against birds. (Or it could just be napalm/Agent Orange and Vietnam all over again.)

@Setec Astrology Would it matter if it means that we'll all be dead faster?

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