“The Real Tooth Fairy” scheme is one of the great branding bombs of all time, with negligible web traffic to their site and all of 856 Twitter followers. Now the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has found the outfit’s original investor pitch video, and it is a delightful hodgepodge of low production values, virulent sexism and childhood “goodness” brainwashing. SUPER GROSS. And it’s hosted by the CEO of Fandango! Oh gosh it’s bad. The Campaign is on high alert—“Until now, the Tooth Fairy was one of the few iconic children’s fantasy figures that escaped being captured, branded, and monetized”—but we think the kids are safe. This thing ain’t going anywhere and the hideous, hideous unbelievable website is such a hot mess that no child could make sense of it.