Did you have to consciously put aside your personal reservations about salad to become the designated pecs and abs, as the “Zesty Guy,” for Kraft’s dressings?
Did you ever think you’d be subjected to gay guys who are TV execs ogling you on-air while you’re trying to stick to your agency-approved content delivery stratagems?
Did you ever imagine your first experience with “Good Morning America” would be because you were branded content?
Did you ever think that modeling would finally go 3-D?
Did your agent call a long meeting in which you two discussed if the Kraft family of salad-related brands was good or bad for your brand? How many times did the dude from the Old Spice commercials come up?
Did you have to have a conversation with your various agencies about your real name, Anderson Davis, and them asking if there was enough room in the “Anderson” marketplace for you to continue using your real name?
Can you tell us the name of the dude from the Old Spice commercials?
Isn’t it intriguing that you’re both former football players?
Did you ever think there’d be a entire line of work for men dedicated specifically to inspire objectification in service of a brand? Do you think it’s “good for women”?
Did you ever think you’d have to figure out how to deal with answering people on Twitter who are asking if you’re gay-friendly in an agency-approved way?
Did you ever think you’d have access to so much Italian dressing? OMG what are you going to do with all that dressing.
Aren’t you glad you’re not representing Kraft brand Oscar Mayer though?
Did you ever think that brand marketers would be so bad at embedding YouTube videos on a website?
Do you ever get the Alanis version of “My Humps” stuck in your head late at night and after a while you start inserting “dressing” into the lyrics?
Did you ever think the word “zesty” would start looking so strange? Zesty. Zesty. ZeSTy!!111! Oh my God, what is that word? Is it Arabic? Does anyone have an OED log-in? Oh my God, “zest,” right, that is French, that is so freaky. Zesssty. Zzzzessttyyyy. LOL. Are we asleep or are we awake?