The Artisanal Subscription Internet Has A Menstrual Tea Kettle For Everyone

We really are living in the golden and ridiculous age of home delivery subscription startups. Ad Age has a list of its 14 wackiest subscription service startups—and perhaps I am lazy and entitled but almost none of them sound that zany to me. (Why is everyone making fun of HelloFlo, apart from its silly name, or any of the 1500 services that serve the lady-product market? I would be thrilled to receive tampons every month in the mail… if I had a doorman. Or someone to receive them for me regularly. Or yeah, guess it’s “going to the deli” for me.)

My real beef with most of these services is that none of the products are luxe or delightful enough. I don’t want you to mail me Tampax Pearls. I want you to mail me hand-crafted tampons in an Etsy collaboration. (Okay I probably actually don’t want that.)

I’m not going to subscribe to Me Undies underpants, they are MADE OF SEMI-SYNTHETIC RAYON AND SPANDEX, my business will rot encased in that. I am also not interested in receiving artisanal pocket sundials in the mail.

Now, Candy Japan? In which you are sent not one but TWO random Japanese candy every month??? *Gives them all my money*