Friday, February 15th, 2013

Meteor Explodes Over Russia, Russian Church Leaders Blame God

It was probably unrealistic to expect the apocalypse to start right on time at the end of 2012—especially if it starts in Russia, where Christmas is two weeks late. So, here it is, a giant meteor (or meteors?) filling the skies over the Ural Mountains, and injuring nearly a thousand people.

But what do the religious leaders of Russia's Orthodox Church have to say about this terrifying incident? Well, being gloomy Russians, they are just blaming it on the God they worship:

A meteorite which injured hundreds of people in Russia's Chelyabinsk Region on Friday was "the Lord’s message to humanity," a senior local clergyman said. "From the Scriptures, we know that the Lord often sends people signs and warnings via natural forces," Metropolitan of Chelyabinsk and Zlatoust Feofan said in a statement released on Friday.

Oh and this has nothing to do with the asteroid that's zipping very closely past the Earth today, at 2:25 p.m. Eastern time. Different thing entirely! And you can watch that right here, as it happens. Wear a helmet!

UPDATE: So many more weird Russian meteor videos coming in now. What's with the explosions and pops after the big meteor crossed the sky?

Look at everybody standing by the snow piles outside their Soviet-era apartment blocks pointing their cell phones at the sky, as mysterious booms continue and all the car alarms go off. It is notable here that there's almost none of the "Oh my God!" and shrieking you hear in American videos of such terror from the skies.

In Russia, meteor kills you. (This is an old Norm MacDonald joke.)

Another pirated copy of Cloverfield .

13 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#1,720)

"Whoops, my bad." -God

Sound delay in the "BOOM" is due to the speed of sound having to travel from like 20 miles up in the air when the sonic boom happened to the ground. Like a really bright, really far away lightning strike, only coming from UP, instead of from the horizon.

jbsquare (#793)

are we sure the moon isn't involved in this?

Haole74 (#241,683)

Why is nobody pointing out the CLEAR connection between this and the Pope's renunciation last Monday?

Yes, but how will it affect the Eurovision song contest?

stuffisthings (#1,352)

@My Number Is My Address Tragically, Dima Bilan was spared.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

Actually, most of the videos feature people shouting something like "What the fucking shit was that?" (And also one where the guy says, half-jokingly, "The fucking war has started!")

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

If Lord wanted to send a message to humanity, he would've sent it to where the humanity is located: Manhattan.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

Also, there is this great photo comparison of Chelyabinsk before and after the meteor strike.

Smitros (#5,315)

I wonder how many conversations today began with, in Russian, "Dude, you're not going to believe this."

That scary, deafening, horrible sound that accompanied the bright flash in most of those videos? Russian technopop.

Danzig! (#5,318)

@Clarence Rosario the preferred nomenclature is "hardstyle", thanks

hockeymom (#143)


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