Tuesday, February 12th, 2013

Did Spencer Ackerman Get Beaten Up Enough As A Kid?

"From a military perspective, Hoth should have been a total debacle for the Rebel Alliance…. The defenses the Alliance constructed on Hoth could not be more favorable to Vader if the villain constructed them himself. The single Rebel base (!) is defended by a few artillery pieces on its north slope, protecting its main power generator. An ion cannon is its main anti-aircraft/spacecraft defense. Its outermost perimeter defense is an energy shield that can deflect Imperial laser bombardment. But the shield has two huge flaws: It can’t stop an Imperial landing force from entering the atmosphere, and it can only open in a discrete place for a limited time so the Rebels’ Ion Cannon can protect an evacuation. In essence, the Rebels built a shield that can’t keep an invader out and complicates their own escape.

When Vader enters the Hoth System with the Imperial Fleet, he’s holding a winning hand. What follows next is a reminder of two military truths that apply in our own time and in our own galaxy: Don’t place unaccountable religious fanatics in wartime command, and never underestimate a hegemonic power’s ability to miscalculate against an insurgency."
—When you're finished arguing about whether or not the dude on "Girls" was way too attractive to hook up with Lena Dunham, you can move on to this.

14 Comments / Post A Comment

Come at me Balk.

deepomega (#1,720)

I mean, fuck Star Wars, but also wasn't the Hoth base supposed to be a secret? Hence the probe droid at the beginning? One assumes that a bigger defense would have only made it easier to fi*gunshot*

hershmire (#233,671)

@deepomega Yeah, I thought the whole point was that Hoth was considered uninhabitable. Of course, security through obscurity never lasts…

NinetyNine (#98)

There's no way Leia was hot enough to bag someone like Han.

@NinetyNine – It was precisely because Leia wasn't (originally) interested in Han that he wanted her. Call it "Rejection Goggles."

BlackAndBlueMan (#239,791)

As well, perhaps Leia started to feel different towards Luke ("He's very cute and he was a great lay*, but lately…I dunno, kissing him now feels like kissing your brother")

* http://goodmenproject.com/arts/luke-and-leia-had-sex/

Bah, Ackerman's just riding the Grand Blog Tarkin train: http://blogtarkin.com/

Matt (#26)

My bullying is good.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

…huh? what are we talking about again? I fell asleep GIS'ing Boba Fett Cosplay babes.

carpetblogger (#306)

Loving the link alt text.

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

What we have here are two reminders of the single writing truth that applies in our own time and in our own galaxy: in my script, I fuck and kill whomever I want, however I want. Otherwise, might as well go out and live the real life. Let the one who wants to do that cast the first stone!

Goto Tengo@facebook (#232,749)

I really enjoy Attackerman's work, but I think he misses a major point brought up in the comments section of the original piece – Vader's obsession here is his son, not ending the rebel alliance. That's why he goes down to the base before it's barely even been cleared. That major actors act irrationally, without taking into account the material plus-minus of a major military action, and that paternal factors may be the cause of such irrationality, is a possible lesson that recent history has taught us.

BadUncle (#153)

If it weren't for important issues like these haunting me so, I might know the touch of another person.

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