Wednesday, January 9th, 2013
4

How To Talk To 911 When You're Bound And Gagged


Okay, there is obviously a lot more to this story than what the report indicates, so without making a comment on the rest of the circumstances I would just like to point out that—and pay attention; you might not think this is going to come in handy but when it does (and, trust me, as confident as you are now that this situation will never apply to you, in this life you will discover that things that you cannot even conceive of happen with such unpredictable ease that by the time you even register surprise you are already past the point of addressing the issue on your own) you will be glad that I brought it up today—if you ever find yourself handcuffed while wearing a leather mask with a gag, this is exactly the kind of enunciation you should use when calling 911. Dude comes through crystal clear.

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deepomega (#1,720)

KATHY SASS

Smitros (#5,315)

[Redacted from Transcript: "The Gimp ain't sleepin'. I am the Gimp. Get me out of this."]

SuperMargie (#1,263)

*Jealous* Why can't I get calls like that? In my sleepy, stupid suburb people call 911 about squirrels dead on the road or keys locked in their cars. Most of the time, at least.

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