Monday, November 19th, 2012

What Time Will You Die?

"Scientists have discovered a gene variation that affects the human body clock so profoundly that it even predicts the time of day when an individual is most likely to die." What time of the day would you want to die? I am not very picky about these things, but ideally it would happen after the cocktail hour, although if I am honest I should probably note that somehow my cocktail hour, over the last few years, has swept back the hands of the clock so subtly yet persistently that I find myself ready to have a drink these days not too long after lunch, which I don't really eat anyway because if I'm taking on calories they may as well come from alcohol, and rather than associating the cocktail hour with the fading light of late afternoon I have now started to think of it as something that happens at say, 2:30, maybe 1:45 if I'm shaking really badly and unable to focus on anything but my dry mouth and the powerful thirst that will not be denied by begging, prayer or appeals to reason. So I guess any time after 3 works for me. What time of the day do you want to die? Tell us in the comments!

Photo by Bisli, via Shutterstock

18 Comments / Post A Comment

lovelettersinhell (#13,711)

Oh one hand, I'd really like to die in my sleep. On the other, that would be kind of a jerk move bc my husband would probably pretty freaked out when he woke up.

So lets go with me collapsing in the middle of court, at, say, 10:00 AM

@lovelettersinhell : Obligatory, per Jack Handey : when I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did — in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

@Gef the Talking Mongoose Contested attribution!

dado (#102)

I would like to die when the chickens come home to roost, or when the cows come home, whichever is later.

@dado Make sure to schedule enough time to close the barn door after the horse has bolted before the cart.

BadUncle (#153)

Before the mailman arrives, because Jesus does my dog's insane barking set me on edge for an hour afterward.

deepomega (#1,720)

I would like to die in the middle of brunch, ruining all future brunches for everyone present. Face-first into a champagne bucket.

How about never? Is never good for you?

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laurel (#4,035)

I don't care, just make it quick.

Whenever, as long as it's on a day that I get to sleep in.

Anarcissie (#3,748)

Might be better to go in the morning, since it can be unpleasant, even difficult, to ride home after dark.

jolie (#16)

Oh God please don't take me until I've finished cleaning the entire house.

Dave Bry (#422)

I will die at "Death o'clock." Sharp.

Brunhilde (#1,225)

Is now good? Can I pick now? I'm sick of work already and it's not even lunchtime.

That skip-hour between standard time and daylight savings.

hockeymom (#143)

12th of Never.

Ralph Haygood (#13,154)

8 a.m. or so would be acceptable, as I'm generally unconscious at that hour anyhow.

Tom Brian (#241,515)

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