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When Not To Stab
"You couldn't, for instance, stab a burglar if they were unconscious."
—The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland explains a new law allowing homeowners to use disproportionate force against burglars.
Yes, but what about beating him with phallic statuary?
Did Alex Balk dream this too-good-to-be-true quotation into existence through years of artful stabby-Limey news aggregation? I think we all know the answer!