Burn It Down: The New Terrible Million-Dollar Brooklyn Apartment

Thar she blows! How much would you pay for an apartment in Carroll Gardens that is basically two unattractive low-ceilinged rooms on a “ground floor” plus a walk-in closet (or cozy “home office”), with a (truly) big backyard and 16 by 11 feet of storage in the basement? If you said $1,095,000, then you are 1. correct and 2. INSANE.

If you put 30% down (and WHY WOULD YOU, THAT IS MORE THAN $300K), then your mortgage and maintenance and taxes are a grand total of $5000 a month, because, oh yes, the taxes are $700 a month.

This is it. This is Peak Apartment. It’s all over. Everyone bought everything in Brooklyn because the interest rates were phenomenally low and there is nothing left except million-dollar apartments that you might not pay a million dollars for in Manhattan. This town needs a real estate crash. Everyone to Staten Island.