How to Not Work on Fridays

If you are working on Fridays in summer, you are a tool. That is the truth. But if you ARE working on Fridays in summer, and wondering how to change your life, well, we have the answer for you. Perhaps you spotted Flint Beamon, extolling the virtues of “not really working on Fridays” in the Styles section troll-a-thon today. It went like this: “Scanning the [Thompson Hotel] scene closely was Flint Beamon, 36, a director of events and lifestyle brands for a public relations company [N.B.: That firm is called PR Consulting] that gives its employees Fridays off in summer. He was there to network. ‘People here are usually in the upper echelons in their industries,’ said Mr. Beamon, who is a regular. ‘I’ve struck business deals by the pool.'” So the real money, if we can tell you the secret, is Facebook spam-scam survey pyramid schemes. THE MORE YOU KNOW.

But seriously, young people. You know how you don’t work on Fridays? JUST LEAVE. Close your laptop. Tell your boss you have “a thing.” Unless you’re paid by the hour, nobody should work on Fridays in summer, it’s NOT AMERICAN. Stop cracking the whip on yourself for your boss, you’re being a fool. JUST GO WALKABOUT. You’re only young once, and winter is coming.