Thursday, July 12th, 2012

The Age Of The "Drunk Phone"

"We were just doing global research with field strategists in understanding the role of beer in Saturday night around the world vs. other drinks. In studying beer, we started to discover that young adults cherish their smartphones and iPhones so much that they don't want to lose them if they have an epic night out. Now they take what they call their 'drunk phone,' a cheap low-end phone, so now they are carrying two phones because they don't want to lose their smartphone."

15 Comments / Post A Comment

Van Buren Boy (#1,233)

Is there some sort of governing body that I can petition to outlaw the use of the word "epic" unless it refers to the particular genre of poetry or film?

BadUncle (#153)

@Van Buren Boy Yeah, "pastoral" should get more play.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

@Van Buren Boy I'm planning to have a picaresque night out tomorrow.

Bittersweet (#765)

@stuffisthings I have a lot of fictional nights out these days.

@BadUncle I have lost so many things on those nights when "a drink after work" turned into something totally elegiac.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

@Bittersweet That's pathetic.

dado (#102)

Also necessary, the "I need to ditch Scientology" phone.

C_Webb (#855)

I'm kind of appalled, but I guess I see the benefits. Your drunk phone could store only the numbers of people you want to drink with, sleep with, or insult in the dead of night. Prevent tons of apologies/embarrassment.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

@C_Webb I assume by "or" you meant "and."

roboloki (#1,724)

my phone seems so smart but when i'm drunk i worry about my phone.

@roboloki You need to give it more space. But don't worry, going out to get drunk while leaving it home to take care of the toaster will teach it responsibility.

BadUncle (#153)

That only makes sense. I usually wear a drinking hat, replace my kindle with a paperback for train reading, and don't even bother with pants.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

The iPhone has been drinking… not me.

deepomega (#1,720)

Just hook your phone up to a wallet chain, 1998 style. Your worst case is you drop it and it bounces against your leg for the rest of the night.

gumplr (#66)

The difference between a smart phone and a drunk phone is that, with the drunk phone, when a strange man says he wants to have sex with you, you feel grateful that you can set the dick pic as your wallpaper.

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