Tuesday, May 29th, 2012
17

Did You Survive the Weekend with Your Face Intact?

"The bizarre syndrome, first diagnosed in Miami, transforms its typically sane victim into a slobbering, raging, supernaturally strong menace hell-bent on self-destruction," wrote the Miami New Times in 2010. "Excited Delirirum," is a focus of inquiry the Department of Neurology at the University of Miami School of Medicine; identified in the 80s among cocaine users, it's not necessarily drug-induced, but it sure helps (cocaine interferes with dopamine transportation in the brain, then things go haywire (technical term)). And then, next thing you know, you're naked on the side of the highway, chewing off someone's face: "After an officer approached… 'The guy just stood, his head up like that, with pieces of flesh in his mouth. And he growled.'" OKAY. Don't do drugs? And how was your weekend?

17 Comments / Post A Comment

C_Webb (#855)

Pretty much all I can say about this weekend is that at least I didn't get my face eaten. Oh, and I saw Louis CK looking for cheese.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

"Fact: ED victims exhibit superhuman strength and are impervious to pain."

@boyofdestiny ED victims speak of a talking horse.

SidAndFinancy (#4,328)

@boyofdestiny: This explains so much about Bob Dole.

Lockheed Ventura (#5,536)

Still amazing how many Miami Herald commentators over the weekend somehow managed to turn this incident into a verdict of the Obama Admnistration.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@Lockheed Ventura If you let zombies happen on your watch…

stuffisthings (#1,352)

@dntsqzthchrmn Fact: no incumbent President has ever been reelected during a zombie apocalypse.

(Just had the amusing mental image of some inane MSNBC commentator droning on about "… but what will this mean in Ohio?" while a zombie gnaws his arm off.)

saythatscool (#101)

I spent most of my weekend meditating but I don't think it worked at all, Fucko.

BadUncle (#153)

I'll smirk just a little less at the next cruise ship commercial using Iggy's "Lust for Life."

Matt (#26)

You think that's bad; I had to go to Brooklyn.

@Matt CRASH

stuffisthings (#1,352)

It's a big problem with drug users in England as well, going around off their faces.

Q: How did the baby zombie's zombie mother know he was sick?
A: He was off his faces.

hockeymom (#143)

Tastes like chicken.

"What remained was his goatee and little else."

What a waste. Native American zombies used every part of the face. [distant eagle screech]

ejcsanfran (#489)

Face off.

The Pants Off Face Off

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