Tuesday, April 24th, 2012

Yes, Let's Let the Rich People Go Space-Mining, It'll End Well for Everyone

Today at 1:30 p.m., don't forget to tune into the livecast of the announcement by Planetary Resources about how rich people are going to blow up some space crap in the hunt for platinum and palladium. With the backing of the likes of Larry Page and Eric Schmidt of Google, this seems like a good time to get out of the Google system entirely, you know? We already gave them ownership of all our data, and the relationship between your Gmail and now the annexation of space for mining is seriously some Total Recall prologue. In fact basically all of the movies have warned us about what happens next. We are totally going to end up in an Ellen Ripley situation if we all work for The Company. (Except they gave the Weyland-Yutani company an even more menacing name here in real life: Planetary Resources? Jesus.) There are going to be terrible space robots and space slaves and, yes, space lawyers. (Soon enough: space prostitutes.) Hard to believe we're going to go out like this.

15 Comments / Post A Comment

jolie (#16)

What about SpaceBalks? Because I'd be down for this if there are SpaceBalks. You know, to tell us the SpaceWeather?

MParcells (#375)

@jolie And how to go about our SpaceSadness.

Joey Camire (#6,325)

@jolie He'd never increase his proximity to the moon.

This is a CIA front. Just like the Glomar Explorer.

Dave Bry (#422)

Q: What do you call a thousand lawyers blasted off into space?
A: A very bad start.

I say we combine this with Richard Branson's space tourism venture, and have the rich people actually do the mining themselves.

Kitekatzee (#210,329)

@Setec Astrology A most excellent idea. They just might blow themselves up, and we use all the money to offset the worldwide debt. errrr…That's how it goes right?

Joey Camire (#6,325)

@Setec Astrology The next best tourism is LABOR TOURISM! All the rage in the elite circles. "I'd never experienced work with my own hands, but zero gravity really eases the burden, and the gloves… No calluses! Though I'll be needing a mani-pedi upon re-entry."

zidaane (#373)

This was my favorite part- "One possibility might be to find a useful asteroid and push it closer to Earth".

doubled277 (#2,783)

@zidaane what could possibly go wrong?

keisertroll (#1,117)

At least Sean Connery's "Outland" had space miners freaking out of amphetamines.

City_Dater (#2,500)

Rich People See Too Many Movies, Decide To Open Space Business.

Be wary of a stock offering.

noilly (#3,193)

four words: three boobs

mishaps (#5,779)

You'll never leave Space Harlan alive.

Post a Comment