Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

How To Fix The 'New York Post'

Although I’m huge on newspapers, no New York newspaper seems to fit my demographic: aging socialist who only wants to read the Sports Page and Garfield. I give up on newspapers ruthlessly and as permanently as I can. The Boston Globe and The New York Times were the first to go by the wayside. The Globe because The New York Times destroyed it, and then The Times because of their craven build-up to the Iraq War. That, and all their annoying Brooklyn trend pieces. I read the Boston Herald in Boston, minus the entire front section (except the always-enjoyable “The Inside Track,” because I want to know what Matt Damon and Donnie Wahlberg are up to). And I read The Wall Street Journal until recently, when it just got too expensive and too cumbersome to read on the subway. It was like building a tent inside a crowded submarine. I went with the New York Daily News for a while, but their sports page sucks and their politics aren’t much better. So I went back to the Post even though it represents everything I despise in a tabloid newspaper. But such a great sports section.

What’s a manchild to do? I came up with a solution to the Problem by Un-Posting the Post.

1. Here's your New York Post. It was barely trying to do anything yesterday—Slow News Month.

2. Open it at the centerfold.

3. Cut it in half wildly with scissors.

4. Add Page Six.

5. Add Garfield.

6. Flip over.

7. Staple crazily.

7.5. Or—as I discovered after some beta testing—if you leave wider gutters, you can use clips.

8. You're good to go.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.

22 Comments / Post A Comment

dado (#102)

It's tough when you are too old for "Weird But True" and too young for Cindy Adams.

melis (#1,854)

@dado Too crazy for Boystown, too much of a boy for Crazytown.

dado (#102)

@melis Poor Hugo.

techmo (#11,038)

I as well read the NYP for (1) The unbelievably good sports section and (2) hate-reading Andrea Peyser/whatever National Review blog post they decide to publish as their op-ed. This will be very helpful in reducing my shame in reading it on the subway.

"wider gutters"

Is this how we're describing fat people now?

frontsidebus (#5,387)

You quit the NYT because of the Iraq war stuff but kept reading the WSJ for years? Um

freetzy (#7,018)

@frontsidebus It's probably Nobama's fault for the Iraq war, I think.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

@frontsidebus WSJ's actual reporting is almost all remarkably good, and in fact often flatly contradicts whatever wild lies they have chosen to fill up the editorial page that day.

deepomega (#1,720)

Come on man just get an ipad you know you want it you aging socialist.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

@deepomega I mean, they're made in a country RUN by aging socialists, right?

BadUncle (#153)

And I read The Wall Street Journal until recently, when it just got too expensive and too cumbersome to read on the subway.

And this is when my sense of disbelief de-suspended itself. The only paper media carried on the F-Train anymore is the Talmud.

SkinnyNerd (#224,784)

I initially read the byline for this post as Jimmy Breslin.

hman (#53)


mats fan (#16,999)

Why not read the Daily News? It's like the Post, but with better comics and fairly liberal politics.

burnfat194 (#232,697)


bluecases (#234,668)

I'm just sort of confused where the evil HR lady didn't get it. I got it, and this isn't an area I'm even remotely familiar with. boiler steel plate

bluecases (#234,668)

Besides, as any number of investors will tell you (and tell you and tell you and tell you), they're all about the "team," not the "idea more info."

bluecases (#234,668)

buy LED spotlights You get a lot of cv's nowadays, and the first thing you do is look at them specifically to reject them. Mean I know, but if I get 100 cv's, I have to get them down to a handful that I want to interview.

Thomas Johnson (#235,924)

The given 8 points regarding to fix New York post is awesome and i want to read more about it.

Marcusz (#240,677)

I am glad to see that people still do things like this and that I am not the only one. For me personally Cut Spending Costs is very important as I do not have a lot of money. Things like this help me save a little bit more and I encourage everyone to try to do it too.

qpisxpxii (#240,825)

There are so many different prospects when it comes to this subject. Thanks for sharing your knowledge on this particular aspect and making it easier for us.

Mark Telooet (#260,469)

In my opinion, it is a good way to fix it. I also initially read the byline for this post as Jimmy Breslin. Mark

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