Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

What Kind Of Stupid Jerk Fires Sue Simmons?

On the one hand, I am filled with sputtering rage at the news that NBC has chosen not to renew Sue Simmons' contract. Along with broadcast partner Chuck Scarborough, Sue Simmons has been the face of local news here in New York for literally as long as I can remember. A hard-charging, swear-dropping, before-broadcast-drinking, poker-playing, fun-loving broad, she has been exactly what this city needs as a news anchor. Plus, there's that great urban legend about her mugging down with some gal at Shakespeare in the Park. For three decades now, Sue Simmons has been synonymous with the New York broadcast. I can't even imagine what local news will look like without her.

On the other hand, I have a hard time picturing what local news looks like now, because when's the last time I watched local news? I have the internet for that. And let's be honest, Sue's getting up there. Sure, Chuck Scarborough is the same age (they're both 68) and his contract was renewed, but we're much happier to watch old men than we are to look at old women, who remind us of frailty, barrenness and death. So it kind of makes sense that they'd want to get some fresh young talent to let us know about a water main break in Kew Gardens. You don't want to hear that stuff from an aged crone who is but a few stops away from her destination on the ride to the tomb. It's just morbid.

Goodbye, Sue. We will miss you! I hope your legacy is more than, "Sue’s blunder and subsequent apology for saying 'What the f–k are you doing?' on air has gotten 2,172,751 YouTube hits." I hope it's that makeout session in the park.

13 Comments / Post A Comment

saythatscool (#101)


BadUncle (#153)

Sue, Kaity. Really, nothing matters except Pat Kiernan. And if he takes the gig with Kathy Lee permanently, then I really will move to Amerstam.

City_Dater (#2,500)

Pat Kiernan is our Fun Uncle and I will cry if he doesn't read the paper to me in the morning. However, if she's available now, NY1 could really use Sue's particular brand of loose cannon anchorwoman.

RonMwangaguhung (#3,697)


Lockheed Ventura (#5,536)

Bike lanes? I thought those were invented in Portlandia in 2007?

Sue Simmons' interview with The Clash is pretty darn great.

Rosebud (#4,107)

I'll never forget when she pronounced "Ramadan" as "Ramada Inn"

werewolfbarmitzvah (#16,402)

My beloved Sue!!!!

Is it just me or are they talking really fast in that 1980 clip above? Has that changed over the years?

zidaane (#373)

I once counted every freckle on Chuck's nude body. He never woke up once and I had to get into some pretty tight places to do an accurate survey. A little wine and that guy is lights out.

And yet Sandy Kenyon continues to assault taxi passengers unchecked.

Flaneur (#998)

So wrong. Both Chuck and Sue should be allowed to die at their desk, during a live newscast. Or at least depart at a time of their choosing, like Bill Beutel.

C_Webb (#855)

I see my entire childhood in the shape of Chuck Scarborough's hair.

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