Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

Abandoned Listicles Without Commentary, In Order Of How Close They Were To Completion

14. Pi, In Reverse Order

13. Manhattan's Best Urinals, In Order

12. The Varieties of Religious Experience

11. People I Have Been Confused For On The Street, In Order Of How Similar They Look To Me

10. Single-Season Sitcoms Of The Seventies, In Order

9. Famous Mustaches, In Order Of Historical Significance

8. Recent News Stories, In Order Of How Deeply They Make Me Despair Over The Human Condition

7. Letters Sections Of Conde Nast Publications, In Order Of How Wildly Out Of Touch They Show Their Readers To Be With Reality

6. Childish Things, In Order Of When I Put Them Away

5. Smells Of New York City In The Summer, In Order Of Putrefaction

4. Terrible Recurring Themes In My Dreams, In Order Of Plausibility

3. Things I Would Not Eat For Money, In Order Of How Really Really Badly I Would Not Want To Eat Them

2. Mexican Epithets For Homosexuals, In Order Of Sibilance

1. Breasts, In Order

Photo by Mehmet Dilsiz, via Shutterstock

23 Comments / Post A Comment

Dan Kois (#646)

This is ridiculous. Left is obviously better than right.

#56 (#56)

@Dan Kois One left, one right that's how I organize 'em. But clearly they are tied for first.

La Cieca (#1,110)

@#56 That is the definition of "bra."

Tenspeed and Brown Shoe, every time.

You know, I submitted #10 like 8 months ago. And THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT?!?!?

#13 goes as follows:
3. Everything else
2. KGB Bar
1. Old Town Bar

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@Setec Astrology I keep expecting to end up in Narnia when I take a piss at the Old Town.

I am OFFENDED by this list. Pure poppycock. How dare you not finish Famous Mustaches?

scrooge (#2,697)

@are friends electric Stalin, Hitler, Kaiser Wilhelm, Nietsche, Tom Selleck, Charlie Chaplin, Maurice Chevalier, Clark Gable, King Edward VII, Terry Thomas and Jimmy Edwards, in that order

@scrooge Austin Scarlett has to be before Nietsche.

Mr. B (#10,093)


pepper (#676)

Frida Kahlo?

keisertroll (#1,117)

Rollie Fingers > EVERYONE

scrooge (#2,697)

@Mr. B Yeah, my bad, Teddy R has to be #1. Groucho, though, is disqualified because it was burnt cork.

hockeymom (#143)

I bet you didn't finish #8 because you poked your eyes out with a fork, midway through.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

#7 is easy — all-way tie for yes.

Mr. B (#10,093)

Your left or her left?

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

@Mr. B To minimize the confusion, I think it's best to just feel them from behind.

GailPink (#9,712)

Very very good! I want see #s 11, 5 and 4, in that order!

keisertroll (#1,117)

@GailPink As someone who has been told he looks like a young William Rehnquist, I command Balk to do #11.

SidAndFinancy (#4,328)


Was that so hard?

Gene (#1,580)

"Confused with" or "mistaken for." Not "confused for."

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@Gene I thought he was projecting his confusion. Sympathetic confusion, like feeling sorry for or being embarrassed for someone. It's a new concept.

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