The Epic Live-Tweeting Of Last Night's Park Slope Coop Meeting
Last night Park Slope Food Coop held its monthly members meeting. At 7:26 p.m., senior Reuters Opinion editor Chadwick Matlin began live-tweeting the proceedings; two hours and 14 minutes later, "meeting is adjourned." It's difficult to pick a favorite here but "In europe I have been using the biodegradable, and they degrade so fast by the time you're at checkout you don't know where the bag is," "'but my collards won't fit!' — one of the actresses in the silent film PSA," and ""My name is Robert Dow. No relation to Dow Chemical." have to be contenders.
@ChadwickMatlin
Chadwick Matlin I wasn't going to, but it's too good not to tweet. The park slope food coop meeting has begun.
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Chadwick Matlin Despite not being on the agenda until next month, was canvassed with Israel food boycott materials before even entering meeting.
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Chadwick Matlin The room is tense with passive aggression. Israeli food referendum dominates. Free Oreos given out, but not free hummus.
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Chadwick Matlin 7:31 pm: First mention of "fascist food."
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Chadwick Matlin Man gets up, says coop should ban Israeli food only if it bans american food because of native American occupation. He's wearing yarmulke.
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Chadwick Matlin Coop spending $4,000 to rent high school for Israeli vote. And ppl say Israeli boycott would be bad for economy.
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Chadwick Matlin Coordinator reports that since inception, coop has sold more than 400 mil in goods.
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Chadwick Matlin Food coordinator admits that even though clemntines are coming from Morocco, they're really delicious.
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Chadwick Matlin Goes on to say "everything is coconut these days." in related news, she went birding in Sri Lanka and had some great coconut water there.
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Chadwick Matlin Discussion about whether coop should post directions to next months meeting. Woman: "there's a huge antennae in the sky, just look for that"
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Chadwick Matlin Member! These are my people. I am them. They are me. RT @irincarmon: @ChadwickMatlin are you a member or are you just lurking?
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Chadwick Matlin Have now moved on to tonight's business: whether to eliminate plastic produce bags at coop. No vote tonight. Just discussion.
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Chadwick Matlin @moorehn technically no hummus vote tonight. That's next month. Whether to eliminate plastic bags is tonight.
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Chadwick Matlin Plastic produce bag rollout would take 3 months. Follow in footsteps of plastic shopping bag ban already in place.
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Chadwick Matlin @marcatracy no Israel stuff tonight! No vote at least. Not on agenda til next month.
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Chadwick Matlin Slide: "plastic bags + fracking?"
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Chadwick Matlin Coop plastic produce bag stats: 383 bags used per hour. $22k per year spent on providing bags.
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Chadwick Matlin Proponent saying one reason to ban plastic bags because they go into trash that goes through low income community in South Bronx.
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Chadwick Matlin Proponent says one option to replace plastic bags is that members can make their own cloth replacements.
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Chadwick Matlin Anti plastic bag PSA being played. Called "The Shopper". Spoof of "The Artist"
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Chadwick Matlin "but my collards won't fit!" — one of the actresses in the silent film PSA.
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Chadwick Matlin Point of order for non members out there: every speaking member must introduce selves and what shift they work. Receiving, Shopping, etc.
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Chadwick Matlin Also, coop newspaper is called "linewaiter's gazette"
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Chadwick Matlin Lengthy speech abt cost of cloth bags compred to plastic bags on scale. Half cent on a scale, not factoring in cost of water to clean them.
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Chadwick Matlin Board member tried to cut speech off. "it's going somewhere!" man protests.
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Chadwick Matlin "The true objective here is to get international media attention for booting out roll bags." Success!
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Chadwick Matlin Woman next to me has finished her squeeze pack of Almond Milk/Butter/Thingie.
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Chadwick Matlin Woman proposing that coop could have muslin (sp?) bag donation drive.
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@smalera
Paul Smalera Actually, every speaker so far RT @ChadwickMatlin: Board member tried to cut speech off. "it's going somewhere!" man protests.
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Chadwick Matlin Counterpoint! "Bio bags have their own sustainability issues. A lot of them are made from corn." Proposes group bag share w mutual cleaning.
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Chadwick Matlin "Most ppl have a bag of bags. I used to have a bag of bags that took up half the closet."
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Chadwick Matlin "I do checkout, you know, so that's why I'm speaking. I'm right on the firing line, you know?"
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Chadwick Matlin Potential corruption scandal: Woman on checkout committee proposes taring scale purposefully high to account for bag weight.
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Chadwick Matlin @jgperras I am a sworn journalist. Ethics apply! All true.
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Chadwick Matlin "I've been a member for 37 years, and I've never taken a plastic bag from the coop. I use bags until they disintegrate in my house."
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Chadwick Matlin Man comes up to speak and say that he heard on the news that somebody may have discovered a plastic-eating bacteria.
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Chadwick Matlin "My name is Robert Dow. No relation to Dow Chemical."
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Chadwick Matlin "corn production contributes to dead zone on ocean, so that's one thing to consider if we use corn bags"
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Chadwick Matlin Clarification! Woman says this isn't a ban on plastic bags. Just plastic bags the coop provides for free. We are all free to use our own.
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Chadwick Matlin But she wants us to know that "plastic doesn't really have a role to play in frugal living"
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Chadwick Matlin "In europe I have been using the biodegradable, and they degrade do fast by the time you're at checkout you don't know where the bag is"
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Chadwick Matlin "poop and pee and trash juice"
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Chadwick Matlin Bag washing instructions: "you dump them in water with white vinegar. A week later it's still smiling!"
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Chadwick Matlin European woman on a role. Woman gets out camera, points it at her. "No picture. My face belongs to me, sweetheart.
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Chadwick Matlin "I understand the applause. But please, no applause"–board member in response to our response to the European messiah.
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Chadwick Matlin "the responsible thing for the coop to do is to remove the temptation"
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Chadwick Matlin Advice from somebody for no bag advocates: "come armed with a flier…or a reusable flier"
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Chadwick Matlin Man raises hand (and bag) to speak on issue. Wonder what he thinks. http://t.co/OrNOEWKO
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Chadwick Matlin Opposition beginning to organize. Arguing ban would punish ppl doing right thing. "you're not ordering takeout. You're going home to cook!"
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Chadwick Matlin Opposition beginning to organize. Arguing ban would punish ppl doing right thing. "you're not ordering takeout. You're going home to cook!"
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Chadwick Matlin @kimseverson tonight your former compatriots are out in force, the linchpins for the plastic bag ban. On the self-described "firing line"
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Chadwick Matlin Suggestion that the plastic bag PSA be played on endless loop on monitors at checkout line, TSA security check-style.
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Chadwick Matlin Clear sentiment emerging to pass the ban. But it'll have to wait until enviro committee hones proposal, brings back another month for vote.
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Chadwick Matlin "If we were to frame this issue as 'we're giving away toxic sludge in the produce aisle' there really would be no discussion"
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Chadwick Matlin Nuanced point of civil liberty implications of ban raised (by my roommate.)
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Chadwick Matlin Nuanced point of civil liberty implications of ban raised (by my roommate.)
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Chadwick Matlin "If you go to trader Joe's, that's how they do it." Boos from the crowd. "Terrible!"
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Chadwick Matlin Plastic bag discussion now closed. Moving on now to whether all coop members should be required to shop with carts. (to prevent theft)
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Chadwick Matlin In January, the coop had 14 shoplifters.
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Chadwick Matlin Getting history lesson on coop theft history. At one point in 80s, someone installed in high chair to watch over cashiers. (no longer)
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Chadwick Matlin "We had something called the no food zone." In a grocery store.
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Chadwick Matlin 2 hours after beginning of meeting, sign in book still making the round. Yes, it's in a composition notebook.
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Chadwick Matlin "150 linear feet of vegetables. Most of which, organic. Just thrills me."
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Chadwick Matlin "what if we need two personal carts? What if I shop at union market before? Will my shopping be monitored In a corner?"
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Chadwick Matlin "I come from a country where thieves are rewarded for creativity"
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Chadwick Matlin "I come from a country where thieves are rewarded for creativity"
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Chadwick Matlin "My name is Steven FTOP." Everyone laughs. Inside jokes!
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Chadwick Matlin Mandatory shopping cart usage far more controversial than plastic bag ban. Only at the coop.
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Chadwick Matlin By the end, even the most hearty coop member goes supine. 15 mins left. http://t.co/WAiO885o
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Chadwick Matlin New concerns about racial profiling being raised if we create a culture of "criminalization."
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Chadwick Matlin Point of order for non members: reason why everyone still here because you have to sign in at beginning AND end of meeting. To prevent abuse
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Chadwick Matlin Board of directors meeting now happening, inside of the general meeting. Escher in the house!
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Chadwick Matlin Final segment of meeting is time for questions about meeting. Man asks question about whthr discussion should be for comments…or questions
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Chadwick Matlin Now, finally, time for ride share announcement.
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Chadwick Matlin "Meeting is adjourned." See you all next month for the Israel vote. (Or, rather the vote on whether to allow a vote)
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a source of internet humor for nearly 20 years: http://www.echonyc.com/~newyork/coop.html
@Maura Johnston ECHONYC REPRESENT.
@Maura Johnston KAAAAAAAAAAARPF
The best was definitely, DEFINITELY "corn production contributes to dead zone on ocean, so that's one thing to consider if we use corn bags"
@Emily You are bat shit. It's this FOR SURE "Board of directors meeting now happening, inside of the general meeting. Escher in the house!"
Bag washing instructions: "you dump them in water with white vinegar. A week later it's still smiling!"
Jolie bait.
@boyofdestiny Ask A Person Who's Really Evangelical About CSAs
I wonder if there's any relation between Chadwick Maltin and Leonard Maltin?
150 Linear Feet of Vegetables is also Russell Crowe's new crustpunk side project.
But was it a boy's hat/reusable produce bag?
As a Berkeley grad and Park Slope resident, this just warms my heart.
But not enough to join the coop.
@Clarence Rosario thank god. As A Less Self-Righteous Person than you, happy for you not to join.
@Barfield Cornfella I see the boycott of Self Awareness and Sense of Humor has begun.
Coop gossip was more fun when it was more about whether or not someone saw Adrian Grenier working a shift.
Shooting fish in a barrel, Chad? Fortunately the coop is equally accommodating to single-minded zealots and snarky little twits. It's in the mission statement.
@MrZipZipZip Just because the fish are in a barrel, doesn't mean they don't deserve to be shot.
@riotnrrd They don't deserve to be shot over and over. People have been making public fun of the coop for 40 years, usually because they think they have found something they can feel superior to. They make fun of the zealots (a significant percentage of those who attend General Meetings), and people who don't know any better come away with the impression that we're all a bunch of plastic-hating worm-composters.
@MrZipZipZip Aren't you?
"This! Is! What! Democracy! Looks like!"
Thank you for this.
I cant wait for the Gowanus Whole Foods to open, i wont have to volunteer my time to work with d-bags to shop there. Also, if this place is so community friendly, how come i live in Park Slope and nobody has ever told me about it or where it is?
Makes me glad all over again that I no longer live in Park Slope. We weren't in the food coop when we were there, but we were in a childcare coop, which might have been worse.
As long as it keeps the aisles of Key Food on Fifth clear of these idiots (which enhances my shopping experience), I have nothing at all bad to say about the Coop, and hope it lives 100 years more.
This is why I sweep floors for my coop shift. the key to loving that place is to steer clear of the loonies and just enjoy the cheap organic food. Quite easily, actually. But I guess it's even easier for the rest of you to overpay at whole foods and just laugh at us.
I love the coop.
I learned something important from this whole thing: that I'm actually not all that interested in the governance of the Park Slope Food Co-op. I do commend the live-tweeter, though. I would have died of boredom long before the end.
I live a stone's throw from the co-op but have never even gone inside – it's enough to see the sanctimonious scowls of the make-up devoid women marching along with their boxes of un-bagged kale and organic turnips. Part of my revulsion is the way all their laws and requirements sound way too much like AA business meetings I've been to on the upper east side… not to name names.
Quite easily, actually. But I guess it's even easier for the rest of you to overpay at whole foods and just laugh at us. sora classes nj