Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

Celebrate Leap Day With Kevin Kline's Magnificent Chest Hair

So everyone grew up watching the 1983 film of Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta The Pirates of Penzance repeatedly, and had their budding brains shaped by it, and gets its songs stuck in their heads on a scarily regular basis, right? Thought so! If not, it is on YouTube in its entirety and Leap Day is a major plot point (something something, the protagonist must do something by age 20, but he was born on Leap Day so he's actually only five, see above). It stars Angela Lansbury and Linda Ronstadt in addition to Kevin Kline at the peak of his ridiculous oddball hotness. Seriously, give me 1983 Kevin Kline over the charisma-less smooth-chested supposed sex gods of our era anyday. (Are people seriously attracted to Ryan Gosling? What on earth is that Non-threatening Boys Magazine nonsense about?)

27 Comments / Post A Comment

I have never seen this movie (I know!) but KEVIN KLINE FOREVER

theheckle (#621)

@Maura Johnston Seriously. I have not either. I feel I have failed Emily and the internet.

Emily (#20)

@theheckle @Maura please fix this immediately

katherine (#10,025)

Rex Smith singing "Oh, Is There Not One Maiden Breast" > Kevin Kline. Even if he's basically imitating Elvis. Even if this chronologically makes me the equivalent of a 30-year-old Zac Efron fan. Even if the song's basically "hey, do any of you have self-esteem so nonexistent that I can essentially just neg you into my ex-pirate arms? Can I convince any of y'all it's your sworn and noble duty to do this thing? Not one? Not ONE??? Oh wait there's one." I WILL NEVER CARE.

Emily (#20)

@katherine ha, no, I know! "However plain you be, I'll love you." Swoon. Poor doomed Andy Gibb played Frederick on Broadway and I imagine that was also really sexy, in the 80s way that the very word "sexy" implies

josh_speed (#97)

Hey–I just read my Awl newsletter–breezy and quirky and charming, as usual, SRSLY–and I am here to say it's genuinely nice to see Emily guest blogging. Don't let the Haterade [tm] drinkers get you down, Ms. Gould!

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@josh_speed Seconded. Uncensored blogging (coarsely filtered) is the way to go. Comments are of little consequence. I'm a little torn about never getting an email from Choire though. While it means I've never been a huge bully, which is good, I also don't get an email from Choire.

josh_speed (#97)

@whizz_dumb Have you entered your email in the FOLLOW box in the right sidebar? It only comes like every 5th or 6th day which is, you know, charming!

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@josh_speed yeah I was kind-of alluding to today's newsletter and it really was a charming "insider's look". Now I picture their office on a half floor like in Being John Malkovich.

cocolamala (#2,218)

I used to love this musical
"Give me a happy ending…all of the time"

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

Hairy chested dudes*: 1
Smooth chested dudes: 0


jolie (#16)

It stars Angela Lansbury and Linda Ronstadt

SAY NO MORE I AM THERE. Oh what's that? Chest hair? OH YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Jesus, this entire post could not POSSIBLY be more relevant to my pinterests. Between this and "Alex's noises" I've just vomited alskfhsldkhgksdhgkdfhg soup up all over the place. DYING. LOVE IT. Choire? Choire who? (LOLLL OMG J/K J/K MISS U EVERY DAY MS. SICHA!!)

Mr. B (#10,093)

@jolie "Like being in a barn with a familiar horse (not a metaphor)."

zidaane (#373)

@Mr. B I need Emily to comment on Balk's musica choices for the day.

drufus (#24,190)

@jolie seriously, a couple more posts are merited, specifically on A) how hot Kevin Kline is and B) Linda Ronstadt. LR might be appropriate for a Scandals of Classic Hollywood for all of her boyfriends, now that I think about it.

jolie (#16)

@drufus You forgot C) CHEST HAIR HELLLLLO?????

Maybe when Scandals of Classic Hollywood has run its course The HP could commission Scandals of 70s Hollywood and lead off with La Linda. Followed by Stevie the Good Witch. I nominate Emily to pen this series.

demi_mondaine (#222,147)

This was the first thing I thought of when I woke up and saw the date. I'm not sure I knew what was going on when I first saw Kevin Kline in this movie at the age of 7, but something powerful was definitely going on. And thank you, Emily, for confirming my suspicion that nobody is actually attracted to Gosling.

Emily (#20)

@demi_mondaine it's seriously a conspiracy on the part of some giant Gosling-industrial complex. I think they are also responsible for Bradley Cooper, that ferret-faced travesty of a human

demi_mondaine (#222,147)

@Emily I managed to work up some mild interest in Cooper when that clip of him speaking French surfaced, but that only lasted 10 minutes. As for Gosling, my friend calls him the Kevin Costner of our times, which I think sums up his blah-ness. I'm actually going to his hometown of London, Ontario tomorrow, so if I uncover any Dan Brown-esque clues to this mystery I will let you know.

I like everything about this, but I feel patriotically obliged to point out that Jon English is the best Pirate King, as evidenced by this, (same song, live on stage).

Vera Knoop (#2,167)

"Yet reck'ning by my natal day…"
This movie is one of the foundational texts of my childhood. I've been singing this to myself all day.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@Vera Knoop "Individually, I love you all with affection unspeakable; but, collectively, I look upon you with a disgust that amounts to absolute detestation. Oh! pity me, my beloved friends, for such is my sense of duty that, once out of my indentures, I shall feel myself bound to devote myself heart and soul to your extermination!"

Which is to say, yes, foundational text of childhood here too.

demi_mondaine (#222,147)

@Vera Knoop Yes, this movie is how I learned about leap years, paradoxes, and the square of the hypotenuse.

Vera Knoop (#2,167)

@demi_mondaine Many cheerful facts!

Waaaaay back in the day, my parents took me to a Pirates of Penzance production that starred Pam Dawber, Andy Gibb, and Barry Bostwick. At least in my hazy memory, it was surprisingly great.

Neopythia (#353)

What about The Pirate Movie?!?

Seriously though, if you're in or around NYC and you've never been to the New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players productions you're missing out.

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