Tuesday, February 7th, 2012
25

Already Over: Your Granite Kitchen Countertops


“Granite has taken on the Kleenex brand,” says Carino, the HGTV host. “Now everything’s Kleenex. Most people don’t realize that they don’t actually want a granite countertop.” They might want soapstone. They might want Silestone. What they’re really looking for, Carino says, is “granite-esque.”

The forward-leaning design snobs — the readers of “Dwell” and “Architectural Digest” — have already moved on. They want poured concrete in swirling designs. Carino is trying to turn people on to quartz, which is even harder than granite, even less porous.

Your aspirational kitchen material is barely valid.

25 Comments / Post A Comment

theheckle (#621)

Who knows what counter tops are installed in their house? Not I, the servants maybe, but not I.

stuffisthings (#1,352)

Seize the countertop. Seize it!

I had Formica installed "ironically"

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict I had iron installed, formulaically.

BadUncle (#153)

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict
That's forward-thinking. Boomerang shapes are the new swirling, poured concrete.

@BadUncle It's got sparkles!

atipofthehat (#797)

First they came for the granite countertops,
and I didn't speak out because I didn't have a granite countertop.

. . .

Then they came Formica.

Kwire, Mine is Ikea butcher block. Why anyone would want anything other than a countertop you can cut on anywhere you like, that costs like $200 total, is beyond me, total aspirational stupidity as you note. And what of all the disfigured granite now, wandering the plains hornless, defenseless?

Tulletilsynet (#333)

@Allen Salkin@facebook
What kind of one-percenter can afford a countertop in these times?

@Tulletilsynet Countertop purchased in 1998, when there was a 10 percent.

@Allen Salkin@facebook: Recycled granite tombstones. Caskets made from your old laminate flooring.

FourFingeredFox (#214,005)

@Allen Salkin@facebook You don't have "butcher block", you have a laminated birch or maple countertop. Butcher block uses the end grain of the wood has the work surface. Yes, I understand that everybody calls what you have "butcher block" but it's butcher block-esque.

BadUncle (#153)

Granite may be the new Kleenex. But don't try blowing your nose in it.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@BadUncle I hear quartz is great for doing blow (up your nose) off it.

Poured concrete? They were doing that in OAKLAND. Like, LAST DECADE.

Latex is the new granite.

@Clarence Rosario : Finally, I can throw away my granite pants!

stuffisthings (#1,352)

People who can't tell the difference between stone countertops just take everything for granite.

Fuck your granite countertop?

deepomega (#1,720)

I only use counter bottoms, to differentiate myself.

Adam St. Patrick (#2,362)

Because somebody has to reply earnestly it's my position that everybody's granite-and-cherry kitchens looked like everybody else's granite-and-cherry kitchens from at least five years ago. So what's the news here?

hockeymom (#143)

Screw granite, you should be getting Carrara marble instead.*
Anybody who bakes knows this.
Plus, if it's good enough for the train station floors in Florence and the Pope, it's good enough for your kitchen.

OBVIOUSLY.

*my own countertops are made of cardboard.

@hockeymom Mine are made of knives!*

*and dreams

dialectric (#6,128)

The cachet of having potentially radioactive material in your kitchen should not be overlooked: 2008 NYTimes

atipofthehat (#797)

@dialectric

My depleted uranium countertops are lovely. They bring a wonderful glow and sparkle to the kitchen.

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