Dogs "have similar social skills to two-year-old children and are more likely to listen if owners look them in eye," according to Science, while cats can set houses on fire. I think this is the final proof we've been looking for in the debate over which animal is superior.
Photo by WilleeCole, via Shutterstock
Yes: One can set a house on fire, and the other will be trapped inside with any two-year-olds. Go, cats!
@Moff But a dog will attempt to rescue you from said inferno started by the cat.
I dunno. The Smitrodog has far better social skills than most two-year-olds.
@Smitros Plus, how many 2-Y.O.s protect you from the evil, evil postman?
What the fuck is a hob and why do these people have one?
@whizz_dumb Pretty sure that's Knifecrimish for "burner."
One shits in your house, the other asks to go outside to shit. Done.
@Clarence Rosario: Dude, you shit in your house too.
I hope.
@Moff I do! But NOT ON THE FUCKING BATHMAT, DAMMIT.
@Clarence Rosario Yeah, except for those assholes who never clean up after their two year old after he leaves a bit pile of shit on the sidewalk outside the bagel store each morning.
@Clarence Rosario: My old lady dog sometimes doesn't make it out the door these days. Plus our little bitch of a kitten likes to leap out at her from under things and punch her in the face. So I may have to be kind of on the side of Science here.
@Clarence Rosario Cats don't shit on the sidewalk. I consider this a public good.
@deepomega The shit in your house.
I can clean up after my dog (as responsible pet owners do). I can't stop the cat from shitting in the bathtub. Don't equate owner behavior with pet behavior.
@Clarence Rosario: Dude, your cat is either crazy or AWESOME.
@Clarence Rosario: You probably COULD stop the cat from shitting in the bathtub, is the thing! Or at the very least, fill the bathtub with cat litter.
All cats are nuts. If I filled the tub with cat litter, he'd just go and shit in the now-empty litter box.
@Clarence Rosario: Seriously, I want to party with this cat.
@Clarence Rosario Cats are passive/aggressive shitters. BUT, they don't have stinky breath. So point goes to Kitty.
@Clarence Rosario I once had a girlfriend who trained her cat to use the toilet. It's totally a thing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz4GwZ3g8wk
@Clarence Rosario Hmmmm. I have had several cats, and I've never known one to shit where they weren't supposed to unless they were sick or protesting something. For example, the obnoxious racist couple who came to live with and take care of my grandmother got a present in the middle of their bed for constantly locking Granny's old cat, Bunky, outside. Which was pretty awesome, I thought.
@MissNormaDesmond: Yeah, my girlfriend's cat lived with me in college, and she (the cat) got jealous of the girlfriend because we always kicked her (the cat) out of bed to have sex, and the cat finally peed all over the comforter.
It would have been a lot more erotic if it had been the girlfriend.
I hate your cats.
@Clarence Rosario I have a cat as a chew toy for my dog. They love each other, but it's clear who's where in the pack order. Which is probably why that jackass cat will occasionally pee on me in my sleep. I fucking hate cats.
Lies! The kittens were framed!
The people who started that fire were the homeowners, who never stopped to think "Hmm, touch-sensitive burners plus animals roaming around the kitchen? This might not end well." They're right, they're just lucky they weren't home when it happened, because it was inevitable.
@MissNormaDesmond: "We don't know how this could have happened. The hob was just sitting there on an open newspaper someone was trying to read, right in front of a window."
Well, at least we know which side The Machines are on.
Do cats ever get injured? I don't know anything about cats. Yes, I know about the 'nine lives' thing, but in reality, do vets ever have to, like, set cat legs? Are there anti-licking cones for cats?
@mathnet Indeed there are cones for cats, and not only can cats break their legs, they can break their tails, as I discovered when my late cat Bella got hers broken in a fight. She had to wear a splint on it for a while until it healed. I found it hilarious; it pissed her off to no end.
Also? That photo summarizes the argument. Dogs are loyal and concerned, and cats are indignant balls of calculating evil. In the War Room, the dog is General Buck Turgidson, while the cat is Dr. Strangelove, scccchhhlautering and breeding while the world burns.
@BadUncle Or, cats are independent thinkers, who carefully investigate people and situations before committing to them, rather than vapid patsies able to be suckered by cheap sentimentalism and Snausages; in the War Room, the cat is Hans Blix, while the dog is a slavering, leg-humping George Bush.
@MissNormaDesmond ... is what I would say if I didn't like dogs, but as it happens, I do like them, although not quite as much as cats.
@MissNormaDesmond Haaans Brixx?! Oh No!