It’s almost the 30th anniversary of the Falkands War! If you forget why that war was fought, well, let old Maggie explain it to you: “We fought to show that aggression does not pay and that the robber cannot be allowed to get away with his swag.” So to celebrate, England is sending over the HMS Dauntless, which is “‘armed with a battery of missiles that could “take out all of South America’s fighter aircraft let alone Argentina’s,’ according to one Navy source.” They will retain these thoroughly crappy little islands off the coast of Argentina! Who wouldn’t want them? Meanwhile, it’s a war of words between the two weirdo nations about who’s actually a colonialist. Yay, war! Let’s nuke something.