Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
14

Let's Bomb the Falklands!

It's almost the 30th anniversary of the Falkands War! If you forget why that war was fought, well, let old Maggie explain it to you: "We fought to show that aggression does not pay and that the robber cannot be allowed to get away with his swag." So to celebrate, England is sending over the HMS Dauntless, which is "'armed with a battery of missiles that could "take out all of South America's fighter aircraft let alone Argentina's,' according to one Navy source." They will retain these thoroughly crappy little islands off the coast of Argentina! Who wouldn't want them? Meanwhile, it's a war of words between the two weirdo nations about who's actually a colonialist. Yay, war! Let's nuke something.

14 Comments / Post A Comment

NeonTrotsky (#2,249)

Reverse colonialism is the new reverse racism.

joeclark (#651)

You have an “issue” with your “nested ‘quotation’ marks.”

jfruh (#713)

It's always awkward to root for Thatcher and the British Empire, but: the Falklands do not have and never had an "indigenous" pre-European-contact population; the few thousand people who do live there are Anglophones who, if it were put to a vote, would want to stay British; and Argentina's claims on them islands boil down to (a) Spain established an abortive colony there before Argentina was even independent and (b) the Falklands are much closer to Argentina than to England. And, you know, Argentina did invade the place first, rather unprovoked, and the Brits in retaking them only re-invaded the islands, rather than bombing Buenos Ares until the junta said uncle! There are about eighteen gazillion awful and unjustifiable British colonial wars that have been fought over the past few centuries, but I have a hard time considering the Falklands to be one of them.

jfruh (#713)

@jfruh If you're gong to fault Thatcher for something, you should probably fault her and/or her intelligence service for not realizing that Argentina was serious about invading them, and so setting up a scenario where a dramatic re-invasion was necessary, rather than putting a big enough naval force in the area to prevent it from happening in the first place.

C_Webb (#855)

@jfruh As Bloom County brilliantly reminded us, back in the day, the "indigenous" population consisted of penguins, who were pictured hitting the deck, flippers over their heads, screaming "WAS IT SOMETHING WE SAID??!!??"

Hirham (#1,709)

@jfruh Apparently (ie. I read in this article the other day: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jan/28/falkland-islands-belong-argentina) a number of Argentinians are only now discovering the islanders eat chips, drink warm beer, and watch the BBC. IT seems there's been a long-standing idea that they were at least in some way culturally tied to Argentina, which might explain a lot. That said, I have a hard time believing that people knew that little about the place…

@jfruh Not to mention the Argentinian military junta was actually demonstrably more evil than Thatcher. She was a morbid, petty bourgeois vampire who permanently destroyed the British economy and the social fabric of the nation but she didn't drop students out of helicopters.

Good grief this Thatcher love-fest is creeping me out.

DMcK (#5,027)

@jfruh In a way, it even worked out to Argentina's favor in the end, as the junta was soon forced out of power on the heels of their defeat.

Rollo (#3,202)

@Hirham Well, I read an article in the Argentinian Guardian that said that the islanders eat empanadas, drink wine, and watch telenovelas, so there!

Lockheed Ventura (#5,536)

There is evidence of large oil and gas reserves off the coast of the Falklands, so it is likely worth fighting over.

Hey, it gave us this gem!

Mr. B (#10,093)

Those are some first-rate sheep pastures you're hating on, Mr. Sicha.

But I mainly want to visit the Falklands because they're within striking distance of Deception Island!

Ben@twitter (#170,994)

Yeah, the Falklands war is one of those rare "just" wars. We Brits defended a load of hardy, culturally British sheep-tinkerers from a junta who did things like throw nuns out of aeroplanes. And losing the war caused the junta to collapse.

Maybe Thatcher could have seen the invasion coming and nipped it in the bud, and mayyyybe she deliberately let sneaky Alan Argie invade for political advantage, but I don't think there's much solid evidence that either of those are true. If she was that sneaky then we won't know until something incriminating gets declassified. Oh, and the war did help the bitch get re-elected, but I blame the idiot general population of KCI for that.

I read some of the first-person accounts of the military action, and it turns out there was some actual bayonet fighting. That's like super-sized knife crime that you can't be prosecuted for. What's not to like?

ComradePsmith (#4,477)

"We fought to show that aggression does not pay and that the robber cannot be allowed to get away with his swag."

BOMB LIL B.

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