Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
16

The Darkest Day Of The Year

Tomorrow will be the darkest day of the year, but that is just a planetary distinction, as "it's the shortest amount of time between sunrise and sunset. This is caused by the Earth's relation to the sun, as well as the angle of the Earth's tilt." Really, the darkest day of the year is the day you wake up in the morning and realize that life's crushing meaninglessness has so insinuated itself into your very being that even the awareness of the mundane brutalities which characterize the empty actions that occur continuously as you're putting one foot in front of the other is no longer enough to register on the scale of existential despair that at least once provided you with the minuscule comfort of knowing that you were still able to feel something, even if it was a mix of heart-searing sadness and a somewhat more intense misery at the realization of just how negligible your own emotions actually were, to you or anyone else. Coincidentally, THAT day is also tomorrow, but in addition it is every day after for the remainder of your time on Earth. Dress warm. [Via]

Photo by Eillen, via Shutterstock

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16 Comments / Post A Comment

lululemming (#409)

Where I live we are currently getting 3.5 to 4 hours sunlight. Sunrise was at 11:28 and sunset will be at 3:11. The light is coming back after tomorrow, at six minutes a day. With all do respect, Balk, screw you.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

I believe you. I sense this underwhelming bleakness on the horizon.

This is a northern hemisphere phenomenon. Across the oceans, there's an antipodean Balk celebrating the bounty of sunlight that comes with December 22nd.

Mr. B (#10,093)

"After tomorrow the days will begin to grow inexorably shorter, as you wake each morning something something existential despair."

@NotAndersonCooper Bizarro Balk is exactly the same but for the Hawaiian shirt.

SeanP (#4,058)

@ContainsHotLiquid and the cargo jorts.

6h057 (#1,914)

All the coal mines of West Virgina and Kentucky don't understand what the hell you're crying about.

Hamilton (#122)

Merry Christmas, friend.

DMcK (#5,027)

You really want to be a dentist, don't you.

laurel (#4,035)

@DMcK Is that because he doesn't want to make toys? Or because he has a knack for causing things pain?

Slava (#216)

Hmm… I just moved to Sao Paulo, so I guess we'll be having the longest day tomorrow? Is that how it works?

TheRtHonPM (#10,481)

@Slava Since Sao Paulo is right on the Tropic of Capricorn, the sun will be directly overhead at noon. Have fun casting no shadows.

deepomega (#1,720)

Pretty sure the darkest day of the year was when Herman Cain resigned =(

Love u miss u Cainy

SeanP (#4,058)

@deepomega and with the crashing and burning of Newt, Gary Johnson is now our last remaining hope for entertainment in the primary season festival of idiocy.

It's always darkest before…commenting on one of Alex's posts.

BadUncle (#153)

Time to double up on:

• Lexapro
• Bourbon
• Schnozzling dogs.

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