Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
13

Deranged Millionaire John Hodgman Has Some Advice For Other Deranged Millionaires

"But during the previous few years, due to hard work and exceedingly strange circumstance, I had made more money than I had ever conceived of making in my life. I had also paid a huge bucket of local, state, and city taxes, and that was JUST FINE WITH ME. Because I knew that I had very little to worry about when it came to providing for my family and me this holiday season. And I suspected he didn’t as well. But there are many, many people who are VERY worried about this. And out of consideration to them, it seemed to me a little unseemly for wealthy to care so much about the names they might be called. 'From my point of view,' I said, 'I think you and me and other wealthy people should just suck it in and take it.'"
John Hodgman tells the story of meeting a former banker in an airport who told him that "it was unfair and hurtful to make the bankers out to be the bad guys." He tells it in response to reading Max Abelson's story from yesterday about unashamed fat-cat job creators who demand to be treated with respect.

13 Comments / Post A Comment

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

Why do those 99% people have to camp in parks and yell mean slogans and fight with the police like savages to get their grievances heard? Why can't they all just give interviews to Bloomberg, like the civilized 1% does? Why? It's just so hurtful of them to behave like that.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

As a member of the 10%, I'm offended by the constant focus on the 1%. Without our valuable contributions, the 1% would be roadkill by now. Credit where credit etc.

frank (#9,995)

I'm just glad someone is finally stepping up and giving rich guys a forum to complain about how poor people make them feel sad.

flatfootafleet (#5,753)

@frank Ya know it's really only the 1% of the 1% (.01%) that is really upset. The rest don't give a shit what the 99% or that .01%

flatfootafleet (#5,753)

@flatfootafleet think.

djfreshie (#875)

Guys! Check out my new tumblr:
http://richpeoplehero.tumblr.com/

Here are the first few entries:

"Speaking up about the dangers of egg yolks"
"Speaking up about the quality of the grass cut on the first par 5 green"
"Speaking up about the outrageous tie Harold was wearing yesterday"
"Speaking up about whether maybe the help is stealing country club washroom hand towels."

@djfreshie I hope this leads to a Guitar Hero-like Xbox game.

djfreshie (#875)

@sorry your heinous Can you show me how to start a kickstarter project?

Mr. B (#10,093)

wow thats impressive cat

Beth Anne Royer (#9,129)

I've met fatter cats than that cat (pictured). Also, I am tired of my future in-laws celebrating christmas eve by worrying about the terrorists, obama, and changes to the inheritance tax. also they think it is cute to identify me and the lover as 99%ers. holy fox news watchers, they need to chill out and share a little. that is my holiday message to all fat cats, amen.

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

@Beth Anne Royer worrying about the terrorists, obama

I am, in fact, worried about Obama illegally and immorally killing, detaining, and torturing targeted and random people of Muslim faith at an admiringly high rate, which could serve to generate a response in the form of terrorist attacks (whose primary target would be New York City), but I suspect that this is not how your future in-laws worry about "terrorists and Obama"?

laurel (#4,035)

Aw, you guys, think of their poor fatty little livers. So sad!

melis (#1,854)

@laurel But think of the foie gras we'll harvest when they die of gout!

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