Tuesday, December 13th, 2011
32

A Possible Cure For The Christmas Song Blues

I was in a CVS last night buying smoked almonds and dental floss—yes, yes, it's all rather glamorous over here—when "Most Wonderful Time of the Year," a song which never fails to send me into paroxysms of depression, started playing. I had somehow managed to avoid it thus far, but now I have the Christmas sad. I am going to try to listen to these actually great Christmas songs to cheer myself up, but sometimes it's just hard.

32 Comments / Post A Comment

thomas_ (#11,923)
Art Yucko (#1,321)

like we're gonna copypasta that.

thomas_ (#11,923)

@Art Yucko Oh god, forgot that it doesn't auto link.

jolie (#16)

"Lately I have been overwhelmed by emotions while doing my pharmaceutical shopping."

saythatscool (#101)

@jolie My Viagra seems so smart, yadda, etc., and so on…

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@jolie "Lately it's hard to cheer myself up."

@jolie Lately I have found that the most innocuous of daily activities lead me into a deepening spiral of despairing ruminations, clearing only slightly by my repeated mantra and attendant ritual: "Man, now I need a drink."

deepomega (#1,720)

Alex Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

davetar (#1,114)

Just be happy you don't watch the blasted Teevee, which, though I only watch about two hours of a week outside of baseball season (or approximately 3% of what the average American does), has shown me a Nissan commercial featuring the oh-so-clever parody "The Most Wonderful SALE of the Year" – LOL! – about 500,000 times. You get to reflect on the sadness of your own life AND how the happiness of others is increasingly shallow and commercialized. Yay!

deepomega (#1,720)

@davetar 3%? You can do better. Maybe try watching with one eye closed to get it down to 1.5%.

SeanP (#4,058)

@davetar I had the misfortune of seeing that commercial multiple times during the Lions-Packers game (yes! On freaking Thanksgiving!) and it nearly drove me to homicide.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

My favorite Christmas tradition is reiterating the unassailable truth that that Pogues song is fucking dreadful.

DMcK (#5,027)

@boyofdestiny THANK YOU. My God, I thought I was the only sane one.

@boyofdestiny How dare you disrespect Kirsty MacColl like that. And at this time of year, too.

City_Dater (#2,500)

It's not the horrifying Christmas music; it is simply not possible to shop in CVS without being overwhelmed by despair.

Bittersweet (#765)

@City_Dater: You obviously haven't visited a Walgreen's or Duane Reade lately. CVS is a palace of joy in comparison.

sharilyn (#4,599)

It's not just you Alex, that is BY FAR the Most Depressing Song Of Them All.

jolie (#16)

@sharilyn WRONG. "Little Drummer Boy" by Jessica and Ashlee Simpson is the Most Depressing Song Of Them All.

SeanP (#4,058)

@jolie Never heard it but I'm getting depressed just thinking about it.

jolie (#16)

@SeanP God, it's really excruciatingly bad. And I say this as someone who is actually a big fan of both Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

zidaane (#373)

Wondering how Balk could have heard the music over his own whistling and humming?

GailPink (#9,712)

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" makes me suicidal.

Cooper (#5,827)

@GailPink There's a reason for that! To quote the original lyrics, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be your last / Next year we may all be living in the past."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Have_Yourself_a_Merry_Little_Christmas

ejcsanfran (#489)

As if being in a CVS isn't already sufficiently suicide-inducing.

Though the fact that you're still concerned with oral hygiene gives us all hope… God bless us one and all!

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

@ejcsanfran It's especially suicide-inducing when you consider the fact that it's the most wonderful time of your entire year.

ejcsanfran (#489)

@Niko Bellic: I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that you, like me, find this to be the antithesis of the most wonderful time of the year.

Smitros (#5,315)

What flavor, if any, was the dental floss?

ejcsanfran (#489)

@Smitros: Cyanide, presumably – it tastes like almonds.

rhp (#11,316)

I walked into Tim Horton's last week and they were playing Bob & Doug McKenzie's "Twelve Days of Christmas." Oh, Canada.

hman (#53)

Balk, can we call you "Oral-B"?

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