Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

Let's Stop Pretending Herman Cain's a Real Thing

It's astounding that this is lingering as a news cycle as long as it has already, but can we all just agree to now ignore Herman Cain? Every election cycle some alleged front-runner dominates the news—welcomed by the candidates who'll be the real front-runners once there's actually primaries and stuff. Then this person gets pilloried and there's a "miraculous fall" or explosion or petering-out or whatever, and then we can get down to the real business. The point being that no one can stay front and in the center in the news that long without burning America's attention span right out. And the news cycle sure doesn't care who's getting the attention as long as someone is. But the actual politicians who'll really be running for president, and their financial backers, they totally do. They're counting on it. Good job, Herman Cain! Your work is nearly done!

33 Comments / Post A Comment

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Somebody agrees with you. And by somebody I mean everybody.

Matt (#26)

I just really want him to adopt "OTIS" as his campaign theme, that's all I'm asking.

City_Dater (#2,500)

It is practically impossible, though hilarious, to imagine any of the potential GOP nominees running a real campaign rather than the extended performance-art-pleas-for-attention they all have going. Well, except Mittens, more or less.

SeanP (#4,058)

@City_Dater yeah, I'm actually going to be disappointed when the inevitable winnowing occurs – this pre-campaign show is entertaining as hell.

barnhouse (#1,326)

Oh gee, "petering-out."

Really it is weird as hell that all they've ever been able to come up with is Mitt Romney. I don't know that those Tea Partiers can be brought to vote for him, and then what?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@barnhouse Obama smiling the smile he smiled when McCain tapped Palin, is what.

BadUncle (#153)

@barnhouse Thing is, if the Tea Party wasn't at the wheel, the GOP could conceivably put Mittens in the White House. Thankfully, they're reaping what they've sewn by using xenophobia as their single uniting theme.

Jared (#1,227)

@barnhouse McCain tapping Palin, the aftermath.

PC Bob@twitter (#170,903)

All the media want Romney. THAT'S their man! Well, guess what? The core conservatives DON'T want Romney! ANYONE else would be fine. As for Cain, why are they trying to pillory him? He's done nothing wrong. it's all just allegations, so far. He was never tried or found guilty of anything, yet you have already decided that he is guilty and finished? Give it time to play out before tossing in the towel. My personal take on it is these are women who felt slighted in some way and decided to feather their nests', by smearing and besmirching a good mans name. Time will tell, have some patience.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@PC Bob@twitter So, you are saying they're gold diggers?

roboloki (#1,724)

@PC Bob@twitter i was going to rip into this batch of ignorance with a vengeance but i've decided to just be the apostrophe police.
nests' nests
mans man's
you're welcome.

riggssm (#760)

@roboloki Oh, thank you for saving me from myself.

riotnrrd (#840)

I'm just going to point out that we have 171,000 registered commenters. Impressive!

zidaane (#373)

@riotnrrd Or 140,000 deleted spam accounts.

Adam Goldman (#5,684)

Thanks for this. Every time I read that idiot's name anywhere I'm like "Really? There's nothing better to talk about?"

Though, to be fair, he's only 1% more ludicrous a prospect than, say, Bachmann or Santorum, so.

Lockheed Ventura (#5,536)

The Cain Train is a pretty unique phenomenon of crazy. I don't think we have seen the likes of him before or will likely see his sort again. This is not a Howard Dean or Jerry Brown type political run. Hell this is not even a Pat Buchanan type run. The guy is not even trying to be serious. Check out the cowboy ads on his Youtube Channel! Still the media and a significant portion of the Republican primary voters take him very seriously. I have a sneaking suspicion that the whole campaign is funded by Romney to take the oxygen and sanity out of the room.

PC Bob@twitter (#170,903)

I stand corrected! I guess we should all just jump on the RINO wagon and vote for Romney, since the media has already picked our candidate for us. After all, no sensible person could een consider voting for a non-politician, even though the politicians are the ones responsible for our present mess in America. Who know's better than a politician after all, about solving all of our problems? Better yet, maybe we should just keep what we have now? The known devil, as opposed to the unknown devil? PS apostrophe's are the devils of the English language. To me, at least.

roboloki (#1,724)

@PC Bob@twitter
know's knows
apostrophe's apostrophes
the devil is in the details.

Astigmatism (#1,950)

@roboloki Also, e'en. Ne'er be without it.

SeanP (#4,058)

@Astigmatism Damn, just when I thought that the Cain campaign itself was the funniest thing going on in politics… now we have slightly crazed Cain groupies right here in the comments section! This is awesome!

deepomega (#1,720)

Christine O'Donnell, but with shittier pizza. Never a viable candidate.

zidaane (#373)

I don't know why Hunstman doesn't get more traction. He was an Eagle Scout, has a GED and was in a rock band.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@zidaane Fear of Utah; like fear of Arizona but stronger.

@dntsqzthchrmn Do you have any proof of that?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Nah, just a hunch. A cynical, cynical hunch.

@dntsqzthchrmn Are you trying to out-obscure me? Because I googled "hunch" and "Utah" and…

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict Oh! the band. Wow, band names have given up even scraping the barrel.

David Roth (#4,429)

I guess this means I'll have to look elsewhere when pitching my think-piece about how The Whole Cain Thing is an elaborate and high-stakes game of trolling and counter-trolling on the part of Cain and the Republican base. Anyone know any editors at American Spectator?

Senor_Wences (#2,234)

Oh, shut up everybody with your this-or-that Republican pretend options. You will either vote for Obama, or you're a clown. That's kind of all there is to it. And regardless of how you feel or don't feel about him, a continued rebuke towards the Republicans is a fine, fine idea.

Like you think Romney will fix things, instead. Or anyone else they'd ever float in a million years right now? Shut the hell up. What's the matter with you? Are you stupid in the head?

In a lot of ways, why is this even a discussion? What, because it's America or something? Again, shut the hell up. There seems to be something seriously the fuck wrong with you, if you think there's another choice.

March on shit, that's your other choice. Occupy shit. Scare the hell out of these fucks.

"Hi, I'm a fucking fuck, and I'd like your vote. I know I've disappointed you in the past, but I'm the least of the fucking fucks."

"Hi, I'm a fresh new fucking fuck, and I'm goddamn shit ass crazy brained out of my mind. Vote for me! I don't believe in gravity because it's gay!"

Please. Pick one and be done with it.

Senor_Wences (#2,234)

@Senor_Wences I hate people. If that choice isn't easy, just please crawl into your grave.

You're fun!!!! :)

SeanP (#4,058)

@Choire Sicha I think you've found the Awl's new political commentator.

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