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Herman Cain Slogans from the Internet, In Order
Abe Sauer can be reached at abesauer at gmail dot com. He is also on Twitter. His book How to be: NORTH DAKOTA is out this month.
I'm pretty sure they meant to spell it "polls."
@pbump: I dunno, the guy on that shirt *does* look like he has a little Hitler moustache.
@pbump No, Mark Block is from Wisconsin and I'm fairy sure they are referring to the large Polish community in Milwaukee. Fairly sure.
@Abe Sauer Jesus. Either one is better than what I was thinking (off to wash my mind out with soap).
@Abe Sauer I still don't get it.
Does it mean that Cain will light Polish people on fire and then smoke them?
Or is it more like "Cain Will Smoke…signed, The Poles." Because Polish people approve of smoking.
Whatever, it's a piss-poor T-shirt. Get your messaging straight, you crazy Cainiacs!
@Abe Sauer Nope, they're definitely talking about blowjobs.
@hockeymom "There goes the career mainstreamers again, trying to fit Herman Cain into the prearranged "making sense" box. Well, I've got news for you, the Herman Cain campaign isn't going to fit into your simple squares!" – Herman Cain
@Abe Sauer Hilarious unintended typo alert @12:52.
@tomme OR WAS IT!?
@Abe Sauer it was. *sigh*
"We Tried Your Black Man
Now Try Ours"
asdfjkasjksafdjkfsd!!!!!
@Clarence Rosario "Once You Go Black You'll Never Go Back But Your Ultraconservative Worldview Will Stay The Same"
@Clarence Rosario This one was in an email forward from a friend's mom:
@Clarence Rosario But it goes so well with the "If the tea party is racist…" one. We're not racist!! It's just that our black is better than your black.
@Bettytron And this one:
Their concept of race relations really boggles the mind.
@Bettytron Wow. The mind reels.
@Bettytron Wait wait wait…
…we can embed images now?!?!?!?
@Clarence Rosario Just HTML seemed to do the trick! It works for linkies too.
@Bettytron I can't even do italics, just sad emoticons :(
Can a better Jew than me tell me what the Hebrew says?
Also, is "White Guys For Herman Cain" a mousepad? I think that sends a mixed message.
@jfruh The grand part of that is that it's, like, CONTRARIAN. Like, Jews for Jesus or Gay Republicans.
@jfruh It just says "Cain" in Hebrew and then "Cain" again in a Hebrew-ish font.
I don't really get it.
@jfruh "כֵּן" (ken) is Hebrew for "yes," that's all.
@NominaStultorum Can someone who actually knows what they're talking about (not me) say how well the bilingual pun actually works? How close are the vowel sounds in "ken" and "Cain"?
But he needs new slogans, too.
I would suggest, for starters, "Herman Cain: he's all about the pie."
Some of these slogans are so good, they would almost influnce me to vote for him, if he were not insane ("Cain is Insane!")
@GailPink: in the membrane.
@HiredGoons "Ride the Cain Crazy Train"
@hockeymom Cain't say we didn't warn ya!
I am continually amazed that supporting a black man for president can engender more overt racism than voting against one. I guess they figure, once they've thrown in with a black man, they have a free pass to be as racist as they want about anyone else.
@MParcells He's not a black man, he's theirs. Sort of like a show dog. Cf. Ann "our blacks are better than yours" Coulter.
@MParcells This is their "ROOTS".
@MParcells Silly, you can't be racist once you've supported a black guy!
HERMAN CAIN: HE'S JUST A LESS IRISH JOHN McCAIN
@keisertroll "Cain: Like McCain but without the Mick?"
@keisertroll "Cain: Smooth like McCain but without all that Wasilla aftertaste"
@hockeymom MAN UP WITH CAIN LITE.
"i'm not as mick as you cain i am."
SOME OF MY BEST NOVELTY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ARE BLACK
@flossy I'M NOT RACIST I VOTED FOR MOMS MABLEY
@keisertroll LOL
I love how these jackasses think that voting for a black man means that you suddenly cannot say anything racist, ever. And by 'I love,' I mean' UGHHH'
I'M SO IGNORANT AND CONTEMPTUOUS OF GOVERNMENT THAT I SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT RUNNING A CHAIN OF SHITTY PIZZA JOINTS QUALIFIES SOMEONE TO BE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD, PLUS HE'S A BLACK SO IN YOUR FACE LIBRULS
@flossy "My Shitty Pizza CEO Can Beat Up Your 'Community Organizer'"
@Clarence Rosario 9-9-9 > 5-5-5
@flossy The "Cain Delivers" button makes me hungry. Pepperoni pizzaaaaaaaa mmmmmm.
Oh, my word. Someone please, please tell me these are all fake / jokes? Fake jokes? Please? My brain hurts a little now.
@jetztinberlin – I'm willing to believe some are real, others I'd prefer not to.
Now just a cotton-pickin' min…what? No, I have this friend.