Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
31

The Pill Will Make You Think That Nice Guys Are Actually Attractive

Ladies on the pill, be careful: chemicals may be tricking you into choosing Mr. Right rather than Mr. Right At Doing Sex To You The Way You Need It. "WOMEN on the Pill risk choosing bad sexual partners because they want men who are reliable, a study found. The contraceptive reduced the natural ability to sense who will be good in bed — but helped them spot a good provider…. The effect is so strong that the expert behind the study advised women to come off the Pill while selecting husbands — to make sure they find someone attractive to them."

Photo by Aletia, via Shutterstock

31 Comments / Post A Comment

lbf (#2,343)

I'm glad I already triked my wife. I'm coming home tonight and yelling "SUCKER!"

lbf (#2,343)

nothing like a typo to ruin a good lowbrow joke.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Shhh — we are imagining a scenario involving tricycles.

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

@lbf Is that some disgusting sexual practice from Urban Dictionary?

deepomega (#1,720)

@dntsqzthchrmn When a man loves a tricycle very very much, and he wants to share that love with a consenting woman…

melis (#1,854)

@deepomega Consent optional.

keisertroll (#1,117)

That's why I'm single: No birth control pills for gays.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Helpful. Helps me understand how I ever got married to anybody at all. I had wondered.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@Tulletilsynet Praise Science!

Tulletilsynet (#333)

@Tulletilsynet
Not that I am a good provider.

Also, how did Balk leap from "good providers" to "nice guys"? The mysteries of Balk.

jolie (#16)

Um, that is terrible advice. Looks fade; being an uncaring dick does not. Ladies, stay on the pill, find a nice guy and hone your fantasizing skills.

Jesus fuck.

lbf (#2,343)

@jolie Irremediable sexual incompatibilities hiding behind synthetic hormones don't fade either though. Let's not set ourselves up for failure! Did we learn nothing from Dan Savage and/or Sex at Dawn?

jolie (#16)

@lbf Now you're just being greedy.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

@jolie WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE HOT JERKS WHO WANT SEX WITHOUT BABIES???

apb (#9,461)

@DoctorDisaster I will think of them! To the exclusion of most other things, actually.

C_Webb (#855)

Does consuming a bottle of Beam/box of wine on top of the pill skew these results at all?

Wait, Ladies, are there some magical They Live glasses that I don't know about that allow you to "spot" who is a good provider v. someone who is good in the sack?

Bittersweet (#765)

@Clarence Rosario: Like we're going to tell you.

Bryan Keller (#3,804)

Sadly, I am neither.

katiechasm (#163)

"while selecting husbands"

Multiphasic (#411)

@katiechasm PRO TIP: Luigi's jumping ability helps you access hard-to-reach areas and bonuses.

illcommunication (#13,090)

"Mr. Right At Doing Sex To You The Way You Need It" should be a 90's R&B song.

@illcommunication by Keith Sweat

deepomega (#1,720)

And thus do we see the genesis of the Unhappily Married Irish Catholic stereotype.

laurel (#4,035)

But but but if you're on the pill, that's the perfect time to go all Mr. Right At Doing (nothing other than) Sex To You The Way You Need It all the time! Save Mr. Provider for when not on the pill in case of baby.

Stupid science.

MythReindeer (#5,553)

But what if I want to reliably provide hot dickings? WHAT NOW, SCIENCE?

DMcK (#5,027)

@MythReindeer Not to worry! Pseudoscience is on it.

riotnrrd (#840)

@MythReindeer Call Dr. Tran, he can hook you up.

WaityKatie (#79,377)

Or you could, I don't know, find out who's good in bed by doing sex to them. That has worked before.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

Stated with pride: I am very single.

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