Thursday, October 27th, 2011

That Feeling Of Dread Isn't Just Telling You You're A Bad Person

As it turns out, the gnawing sensation of impending doom keeping you awake at night is not simply the result of the realization that all your decent options have already been foreclosed upon and it is only a matter of time before everyone realizes you are a worthless human being whose tiresome neediness and obvious desperation emanates in such a way as to do serious damage to anyone who has, for whatever misguided reason, extended any bit of kindness in your direction. No, it also means you're about to have a heart attack or a seizure. Probably because of that extra weight you're carrying around with you, loser.

7 Comments / Post A Comment

Dave Bry (#422)

Are the scientists doing studies now specifically so that they can be turned into Awl posts?

HiredGoons (#603)

@Dave Bry: the studies are coming from inside the house.

Ironic Hipster Meme (#103,817)

I'm just going to assume it's all of the above.

NFK (#8,747)

Well shit, I've been waiting for my heart attack for decades now, and that fucker still hasn't arrived. Guess I am just a bad person after all.

deepomega (#1,720)

I am never going to die. Sorry.

Smitros (#5,315)

So what causes those feelings the rest of the time?

Great, another thing to worry about.

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