Ten Questions Parents Should Frantically Ask About Schooling

This coming weekend, the New York Times magazine looks at our children and what private and charter schools are doing for/to them! It raises so many questions for those of us who are concerned about our babies and if they will go to top-tier colleges after top-tier primary and secondary education, which is something you really do worry about especially if you’re dropping half a million on K-12 and then having to make a sizable donation to an Ivy League to make sure that little Crayson, Effexor and Randomly get to go to the right college! Here’s the top ten questions that a parent may form whilst reading this expose about the rise of “character evaluation” at… two schools. (One of whom is a charter, with a 33% college graduation rate of their first two classes.)

• What If Testing Well Means You’ve Failed the Real Test, Which Is Life?

• What If the 800 Is Actually a “Life Zero” on the SAT?

• What If America Has Lost Its Gumption from Competing Too Hard?

• What If Rewards are Actually Demerits, and We’re Also Punishing The Successful, Who Are Actually Cutthroat and Only Barely Empathetic?

• What If Everything We Value Is Wrong, and Years of Test Prep Are Holding MY BABY Back?

• What If Expensive Schools Are Hurting Our Baaaaabies???

• What If My Parenting Is Totally Broken But It’s Too Late???

• What If MY BABY Has to Choose Between Being Nice and Being Successful???

• What If My Child’s Charter School Is a Cult???

• What If We’re Raising a Generation of Horrible Robot Narcs??????