Thursday, September 1st, 2011
28

Spoofing the Dead

Have you caught up on the terrible story of Christopher Ryan Smith? The Internet entrepreneur was traveling in Africa all throughout the second half of last year, according to the emails he was sending his family. Unfortunately, he was dead the whole time, having been killed by his terribly secretly shady business partner. Horrible story! Also, how stupid: you buy yourself six months to get away with a murder by posing as the poor dead fellow, and you don't even flee the country? Moron. Still, gives one ideas.

28 Comments / Post A Comment

jolie (#16)

RUN ALEX RUN!!!!!!!!!!!

saythatscool (#101)

@jolie As I have already said, Alex Balk died last year in Trenton. Dave Bry has doing his posts and Choire has been ordering mozzarella cheese stix from the bodega every night to his apartment so nobody grows suspicious.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@jolie The 44,000s have no idea what you're talking about.

saythatscool (#101)

@boyofdestiny I'm not sure what we're talking about BOD. And I would challenge anybody here, to give a full explanation of the onion layered comments that show up on any random post these days.

Fuck, Matt alone represents a rabbit hole that if you dare go down, you're guaranteed to reemerge 6 months later spewing cryptic meme based speak that would make the illuminati say "too insidery."

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@saythatscool They like "Congradulations," generally.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@saythatscool I thought Matt was the Illuminati.

saythatscool (#101)

@dntsqzthchrmn Where is my based god now?????? Apparently sexing chubby Val Kilmer with Lil B in the Summer of Megadeth office bathroom.

@boyofdestiny Remember when the 12,000s seemed so wet behind the ears?

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@Clarence Rosario Ah, yes. The halcyon days of Spring 2011.

liznieve (#7,691)

@boyofdestiny ahhhh, I feel like such an old, wizened Awl commenter now.

deepomega (#1,720)

@boyofdestiny: I can't handle that we're about to break 50k. I have to go update my org chart!

jfruh (#713)

@Clarence Rosario Seriously, was there an INSANE spambot infestation recently? It seems like we jumped from the 20Ks to the 40Ks really really fast, without an actual increase in the number of regular commenters. (Still super smug about my 3-digit ID, actually!)

cherrispryte (#444)

@deepomega 50K!?!?!!!!!! Jeez. You wander over to the Hairpin for a minute and all of a sudden the place blows up.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@jfruh You three-digits think you're so great!

hman (#53)

@boyofdestiny LOL.

hockeymom (#143)

@hman I remember when I heard about this site and was like, "I must sign up, immediately."
Then, some stupid work thing happened and I didn't remember till much later.
Those precious moments added a digit to my membership which mocks me each time I sign in.
I could have been a double-digit.
I feel shame.

cherrispryte (#444)

@hockeymom I have the exact same regret.

@hockeymom: I don't know how I'd survive without the preferred seating and elite club privileges my 3 digits afford me. I hardly pay for meals anymore. All comped! Thank You, Awl Network!!

Louis Fyne (#2,066)

@cherrispryte I'm not positive exactly when I started but it was for sure sub-500. I live with the pain on a daily basis.

jfruh (#713)

@NotAndersonCooper I hear the two-digit people get 24-hour access to all sorts of exclusive things (e.g., Balk's cock).

@hockeymom How do you think I feel? Wookie beat me by ONE FUCKING NUMBER.

hman (#53)

@hockeymom Being a two-digiter is harder than you'd think! For example, whenever a cute guy asks me for my 'digits' I blurt out "53!"
And there's that pesky newsletter I get emailed to me every day. Drivel.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

So all the sub-300s went to college together or worked at some unsuccessful blog not-to-be-mentioned right? (NYU & Gawker) Percentage-wise, I can almost feel the elitism you're all so used to and I've pined for, but by the time the 100,000 signs in it'll feel pretty threadbare. grass is AWLWAYS greener.

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