Thursday, September 1st, 2011
10

Conching: The Latest Craze Sweeping Australian Dolphins

Are you up on "conching?" It's like "planking" or "horse maning" except that it's done by dolphins instead of humans, and instead of being done solely for the purposes of display and photography (though it does make for some cool pictures) it also apparently helps the dolphins eat. It goes like this: dolphins trap small fish inside empty conch shells, and then bring the conch shells up to the surface of the water, and tip the fish into their mouths. Like we do with a pack of M&M's. But they use their beaks, instead of their hands. This behavior has been witnessed at least six times now in Shark Bay on Australia's western coast. Pretty amazing, right? Pretty great! Until one of the dolphins decides he wants more power, and would prefer anarchy to easy fishing, and smashes the conch shell and kills the smart fat dolphin, and exposes the dark, Hobbesian truth of dolphin nature. Which, of course, we already know about.

10 Comments / Post A Comment

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

I, for one, welcome our new dolphin overlords.

Mackle (#446)

@boyofdestiny You will be first against the seawall when they are overthrown by our new overlords, the Giant Squid who I will welcome.

keisertroll (#1,117)

I'm fine with Western Australian dolphin overlords, as they probably enjoy Australian football more than their Pacific dwelling rugby lubber cousins.

theyre making chocolate? whats sinister about that?

Dave Bry (#422)

Oh, yes! I had forgotten that one. So good and absolutely appropriate.

keisertroll (#1,117)

@Clarence Rosario I wonder what his brother Steve has to say on this matter.

@keisertroll I believe he was quoted as saying "oonse oonse oonse oonse oonse oonse!"

Paul B@twitter (#13,135)

You guys do know that dolphins bully and kill porpoises for fun right? So if they're gonna use their new conch shells as weapons, it'd be against porpoises, not some nerdy chubby buddy. At least in the early stages of the Shark Bay War of 2011.

deepomega (#1,720)

CONCHES ARE MADE OF PEOPLE

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