Tuesday, September 6th, 2011
18

America Is The Coolest, Say People Who Have Not Been Paying Attention

Remember that kid in high school who played by his own rules and flouted authority at every turn but still managed to get good grades and was the one everybody, even the teachers, secretly wanted to be? The one who could be counted on to do the right thing when it really came down to it? Well, even though he has spent the years since letting himself go, spending money he doesn't have and generally doing everything he can to sabotage himself, people still think he's cool. Man, the rest of the world must really suck.

Photo by Jim Pruitt, via Shutterstock

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18 Comments / Post A Comment

Murgatroid (#2,904)

We all know that America is a lady.

brianvan (#149)

If shitting your pants is cool, you can refer to America as Miles Davis

melis (#1,854)

"We need to talk about America."

deepomega (#1,720)

You're just jealous.

Werner Hedgehog (#11,170)

I think that we are still just coasting on that "Rock 'n' Roll" fad.

Some people think the moon is cool.

saythatscool (#101)

@NotAndersonCooper I think you're cool.

dado (#102)

The coolest European would have the romantic proclivities of a Frenchman, the engineering skills of a German, and the sense of humor of a Brit. Conversely, the least coolest Europeanb would have the sense of humor of a German, the engineering skills of a Frenchman, and the romantic proclivity of a Brit.

Also, I've moved back in with mom and dad.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

This popped in my head: "America, fuck yeah! Coming again to save the motherfucking day yeah, [refrain] America…"

BadUncle (#153)

Oh, yeah. And we're giving other nations wedgies, and locking them in their lockers.

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

To be fair, "cool" is (apparently) an "American" word. In Serbia, for example, we say "kul" (there is no equivalent in our language), and it pretty much simply means "American" (but in a good way – think Tom Waits or Jim Jarmusch, where cowboy – "kauboj", for example, would mean "an American" in a bad way – think GWB).

So, this is basically the same as asking "which nation is the most American". If there is no longer a good way to be "American", the word "cool" should be retired (sort of like the word "hipster" should be).

saythatscool (#101)

@Niko Bellic "saythatskul"

flossy (#1,402)

"We're still the coldest." – Greenland

Yeah, well, people are idiots.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@Clarence Rosario ^truth

rbrwn08 (#61,289)

Krakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!! that's cool ;)

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