Monday, August 8th, 2011
13

The End Of Summer

"After the 4th of July," my grandmother used to say, "summer is over." And while that may have been something of an exaggeration, it is not necessarily untrue. Despite what the calendar shows, let's admit it: summer is done. The plans you made have either fallen through or have been executed half-heartedly and with regret. The failures of the season have already been written in the Book of Life underneath all the failures of summers past. You are even now looking ahead to autumn, with all its inevitable disappointment and uncertainty. That swirling sense of anxiety that sits in your chest is a concrete reminder that despite the lofty ambitions you had for the dog days, you wound up with the same collection of missed opportunities and recrimination that always pile up in your emotional inbox. You are in a holding pattern, where one season is dead and the next has yet to assert itself. Hang your head low and slouch your way toward fall, which is the next stop on your slow march to the tomb. Summer? It's finished. Now somebody please tell the weather that. Good lord, it's hot outside. There will supposedly be some relief over the next couple of days, but if life works the way I think it does that is probably only a brief fakeout designed to make the next spate of spirit-sapping humidity even more depressing. Summer may be over, but it still sucks.

Photo by Satish Krishnamurthy

13 Comments / Post A Comment

Hamilton (#122)

Man.

lbf (#2,343)

@balk Write those whenever you like but you should wait until at least Wednesday afternoon to post. Come on :[

It's not the heat. It's not the humidity. It's Balk's crushing existentialism.

saythatscool (#101)

@Clarence Rosario Need more "Off His Meds Monday" tag.

You forgot, "You are physically and emotionally exhausted from having spent 6 of the last 8 weekends out of town, and aren't sure how you'll make it the rest of the way to Labor Day."

#FirstWorldProblems

BadUncle (#153)

Summer is over when you pry these barbecue tongs from my cold, dead hand.

zidaane (#373)

The sudden transition from jort to heavy corduroy can be emotionally jarring.

cherrispryte (#444)

You shut your mouth, Alex Balk. I am going on vacation on Wednesday, and it is a SUMMER VACATION, goddammit!

Here, I'm giving you your Christmas present early. Hickory Farms will brighten up your Monday!

Try to increase your Vitamin D intake. Christ! your winter blues must be TERRIFYING.

sigerson (#179)

CAN I WEARZ SHORTS??

Alex Balk:The moon::Gef the Talking Mongoose:Summer

In other words, right there with you, dude.

Co-sign. FUCK THIS SUMMER. Buuuuuuut I'm pretty sure this fall is going to be tremendous, that is until it turns out to be miserable. Winter is where it's at because you don't have explain your crippling depression to no one.

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