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Here is what we know now about the magnitude 5.8 earthquake that shook the foundations of New York City (and, I guess, some other places): Although I was forced to walk down (and then back up) four flights of stairs during the evacuation, I am for the most part fine. My ice coffee is a little warm now, but other than that—and the unwanted exercise—I want America to rest assured that I, national treasure Alex Balk, survived unscathed. As you were.
Earthquake on the east coast – not along a fault line – in a mining town where they do fracking. Hmmmmm
@doubled277 That is not how earthquakes or fracking work, bro. Like blaming it on a sumo wrestler falling down.
@deepomega Here's the culprit.
@boyofdestiny that would make one helluva fucksaw.
@deepomega it actually is. fracking causes earthquakes.
@doubled277 There's a fault line in VA where the earthquake started.
@deepomega Sure, blame Gutty.
@JoshUng No, no, no. That fault line was CREATED by fracking, man! Don't you get it!
@deepomega What does BSG have to do with any of this?
@saythatscool "It's IN the FRACKING SHIP!"
@deepomega not sure why you're so hostile to the notion that man can alter his environment. It's pretty simple idea. you drill deep down into the earth and start pumping water down there to loosen millions of tons of shit locked there from billions of years of geological buildup, shit's gonna come loose – just as you intended it too. http://www.earthworksaction.org/fracturingearthquakes.cfm
@doubled277 Does this mean I should stop looking for Curly's gold in my backyard? I don't want anything else to happen to Haiti.
@saythatscool I already blamed haiti on ron paul and his insistence on returning to the gold standard
@doubled277 Though admittedly no scientist (and I even have tough time with boop-de-boop things like Action Script), I suspect tectonic plates – with a depth of 50K' – 650k', and enduring tons or pressure per square inch – would be a little resilient to something 8,000 psi at a depth of 10,000 feet.
Which is not to say fracking doesn't wreck water tables, etc.
@BadUncle true – can't say it's not natural – and it probably is. But I think hostility toward those that would ask if it isn't natural is misplaced. We need to understand that we're affecting our environment a lot more than we think we are. If The Economist can admit as much (a conservative rag if there ever was one) we all should be able to.
@BadUncle … This quake was 6km down with aftershocks at 5km. Fracking waste water disposal wells are deeper than the actual fracturing wells, and can go as far as 8km down. My money is on facking induced seismicity. Just sayin…
Is there any quake sex going on out there?
@ericdeamer Somebody used it as a pickup line. YOU KNOW THEY DID.
@ericdeamer FUCK LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE CRUSHED BY FALLING RUBBLE
@deepomega
I have to confess, I was having sex at the time. It was not really earthshaking.
@Tulletilsynet Which was the lucky hand? Left or right?
@saythatscool
I'm not sure anymore, it all happened so fast.
Your building had an evacuation?
In related news, I suggest getting business cards that read, "Alex Balk, National Treasure" (preferably with a footnote on the reverse side disclaiming any affiliation with Nicolas Cage).
"I'm going to steal Alex Balk."
#obamasfault
#obamasfaultline
Is Cheney okay?
God save The Alex Balk!
Question: How many times can the same joke about hipster earthquakes be made?
some obscure number i've probably never heard of.
@roboloki You're killing me today.
The virtue of living in New England is not having to deal with shit like this. If we start getting fire tornadoes and mudslides too, I'm shipping off to LA.
@boyofdestiny Did you dig out of the last year's snow yet?
@boyofdestiny: Aftershocks detected in Boston, buildings evacuated, etc. (But don't leave us!)
@boyofdestiny Please don't tell me you're under the impression that NJ is part of New England. Did you move to Connecticut or something?
It's ICED Coffee, Alex, you dumb boob. ICED.
@jolie You know the story. "You can take the boy out of Jersey but…"
@Alex Balk "…you can't find him a God damned Taylor Ham sandwich in all of New York"?
@jolie It's called pork roll
@jolie: Ha, I just spit out my expresso.
The Tea Party is going to use this in talking points against gay marriage, aren't they?
@Clarence Rosario – Maybe this is God's way of mollifying the Tea Party: "What more do you people want me to do? I sent them a me-damned earthquake!"
@Setec Astrology "I'm gonna have Hurricane Irene FUCK an earthquake in Manhattan on Sunday. There, happy?"
If we're gonna have earthquakes, I demand better Mexican food.
The best part about that "quake" was that I was in the middle of a workshop for emergency preparedness when I felt it and thought it was some kind of a set up. Earthquake action!
Don't laugh but my main worry WAS in fact Alex Balk, National Treasure.
@barnhouse
As potential victim or potential perpetrator?
In a related story, one 4th of July I and then-g.f. were winding up some midafternoon rumpy-pumpy, when someone detonated a string of firecrackers outside, giving me the opportunity to murmur: "Did you hear fireworks, baby?"
But what about the bears?
Has anyone checked on the bears?
Felt it here in Cambridge MA. Shaking is a tad worrying when you're on the 13th floor of a building.
@LondonLee There were actually THINGS FALLING OFF MY SHELVES here in Virginia.
I was sitting smack-dab in Washington Square and missed the whole thing. When NYU evacuated I just assumed the usual: fire alarms/bomb threats. Yawn.
I arrived at my podiatrist's office for an appointment about 45 minutes after the quake to find a laser-printed sign taped to the door that read "Due to weather office is closed." Which quite frankly just opened more questions than it answered.
All clear in Houston. Well, except for the catastrophic drought that will slowly kill us all. Carry on.
STAY CALM AND CARRY ON
But what about him, Al Franken?
I got a head start on Duck Out for a Drink Day but am willing to repeat the experience.
I did not feel the earth move. I felt only the coldness of your touch.
WHAT HAPPENED TO CHOIRE? WHAT AREN'T YOU TELLING US!!1!!1!