Monday, August 1st, 2011
36

Shopping for Men: The New Yorker's Complete (and Catty) Guide

Today, Patricia Marx goes shopping with men in the New Yorker! (Yes, subscription-only, so, sadtrombone.wav.) The whole thing is a really quite largely useful guide for men who are baffled and scared, from Brooks Brothers to Bergdorf Mens' Store to 20 Peacocks (although just don't even go in that Ralph Lauren store, gross), and you should note that Ms. Marx's male friend really ought to have bought the blue Zegna suit at Bergdorfs, it's gorgeous. But here is the most relevant passage to our interests. The Tom Ford store on Madison Ave. is America's greatest shopping treature! I bet it was that haughty Russian shopboy Nikolai! No, but seriously: if you can't fit into his fascist shirts, you're definitely not going to fit into the fall sweaters. Get a nice tie.

36 Comments / Post A Comment

katherine (#10,025)

This headline is open to interpretation.

prrtyfood (#8,285)

thank you for that "Sadtrombone" reference. That is precisely where I go every time I hit that damn pay wall.

Mr. B (#10,093)

@prrtyfood: Pony up! That $50 a year or whatever is totes worth one less dinner at Holy Basil.

@Mr. B I AGREE VERY MUCH. I don't understand how life is to be lived without a NYer subscription.

@Mr. B, @Choire Sicha: Yes, and yes. And if you have any money left over, get a Harper's subscription. The weeks when both the New Yorker and the new Harper's show up are the BEST EVER.

Also: I have a bad addiction to the New Yorker's every-issue-ever-printed archive (available to subscribers!). Currently working my way through the WWII era, because c'mon of course.

Mr. B (#10,093)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose: ME TOO. I'm partial to the William Shawn heyday in the '60s myself. And OMG those Don Draper ads!

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

The professional discount fliers (barf) currently offer in the $20-$40 range. I am holding out for an $8 offer, with free iPad.

We sure that it wasn't the Gap jeans that tipped Nicolai off?

I love the New Yorker, but … eh. Seriously, extolling the Brooks Brothers non-iron shirt in a "guys, it's OK to shop for clothes" article is the lowest of the low bars. And the bit about jacket shapes is just ludicrous. In what world is the Italian jacket "formed like an inverted V"? And the old saw about an American "sack" jacket so-called because it's "constructed like a sack" is just lazy reporting. C'mon, legendary New Yorker fact-checkers.

Also, the paragraph about Paul Smith leads me to believe that they ended up on the womenswear side by mistake and never realized their error.

@Gef the Talking Mongoose Are we married?

City_Dater (#2,500)

Until women are getting free, devoid-of-body-judgement suit alterations, one catty shopboy telling a fat guy to put on a sweater doesn't begin to even the odds.

@City_Dater CORRECTO!

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

@City_Dater Until everyone is treated equally, I can continue to act like an asshole.

Mr. B (#10,093)

Oh, Choire. Of all things from the current NYer to link to, you would choose the one about shopping over THIS HELLA BALLS-TO-THE-WALL KICKASS BLOW-BY-BLOW OF THE BIN LADEN EXECUTION RAID. (Which you don't even need a subscription to read!)

Although, once I start making six figures and still don't have any kids to feed I'm totally going to check out that Tom Ford place.

@Mr. B Well everyone's reading that!

zidaane (#373)

@Choire Sicha Thanks to this "crankshaft" is no longer my match.com profile name.

zidaane (#373)

@zidaane …and this? "White House officials cancelled scheduled visits, ordered sandwich platters from Costco. and transformed the Situation Room into a war room."

If I'm ever President I order sushi. Costco is bad juju.

zidaane (#373)

@zidaane "Before the mission commenced, the SEALs had created a checklist of code words that had a Native American theme. Each code word represented a different stage of the mission: leaving Jalalabad, entering Pakistan, approaching the compound, and so on. “Geronimo” was to signify that bin Laden had been found."

That is some tricky shit. Usually when you here the word "Geronimo" it means someone got a bad tattoo.

Reading this in parts of course. Tonight's mission will end soon. Geronimo. Geronimo. Geronimo.

jfruh (#713)

Who … who will custom-make a plaid shirt for you? How much does such a thing cost? That blew my tiny bourgeois mind. Are they really that much better than shirts made by Cambodian children that you buy in the store, or is this fellow "C." just really oddly shaped?

Rod T (#33)

@jfruh Hopefully no one. Because plaid is the new tired.

@jfruh : A good made-in-NYC custom shirt on quality fabric should run you about $140. And yeah, it's worth it even for us non-outlier-sized guys — no more constantly tucking in your shirt because the waist proportions don't fit you, for starters.

Oh, and yes, you can get your custom shirts made in all kinds of fabrics, including plaids. That doesn't mean you should.

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

@jfruh You can get custom shirts from Hong Kong for about $35 each. Helps to get measured in person, but it's pretty money after that. You just tell them what color you want and they mail it to you.

laurel (#4,035)

I like that the pudgy guy's name is "Pigozzi."

Virtual_Memories (#3,040)

I had a pretty awesome/aspirational time in that Tom Ford store on my 40th birthday. That was the same day I found the Auschwitz-couture at Billy Reid on Bond St. . . .

SidAndFinancy (#4,328)

According to P., "T-shirts must be colored, because white says Jackie Gleason or geek."

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE GREAT ONE?

Mr. B (#10,093)

@SidAndFinancy: Seriously! This P. character sounds like someone out of an Anne Beatty story.

deepomega (#1,720)

@SidAndFinancy: Doesn't this depend more on physique? Like, chubby bro in a white tee probably just forgot to put on something over his undershirt, fit guy in a white tee is a cigarette-pack-in-the-sleeve from drag racing while getting road head.

SidAndFinancy (#4,328)

@deepomega No, they're talking about his colored t-shirt under his button-down, crew neck sweater and blazer!

skyslang (#11,283)

Catty shop boys aside, is it so awful that some labels run too small for big guys? Most labels run too large for short, thin guys like me. It's nice that we have at least a few labels that actually fit without extensive tailoring. Not that I can afford Ford…

saythatscool (#101)

I have used the stolen line from Absolutely Fabulous: "You can drop the attitude, you're a store clerk" more times than I care to count.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@saythatscool -Have we shopped together?

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Tom Ford's a chubby hater and not a chubby chaser? Quelle surprise!

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

This reminds me of the Kids in the Hall sketch about the fashion designer for ugly women. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THtviaK7dKo

LDM (#10,599)

Can I just say that the Awl is the comment section that all these articles should have.

byronryder (#244,252)

The story you presented is very interesting, I was always interested how men behave when they go out shopping. I had a huge shopping list because my wife was opening a restaurant and to be honest I had the same feeling that Patricia Marx described.

Post a Comment