Monday, August 1st, 2011

Oh Speidi! An Incredible Tale About the New Fame

Perhaps you don't know or remember Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, because you "don't have a TV" or because you, like, read books. They were, quite recently, the very picture of modern fame, having risen to attention on a semi-non-fiction TV show called "The Hills," and they made a pretty decent fortune. And then they lost it all, and this account of their life after tabloid fame is actually incredible. What is my favorite part of this even! Hmm: "Heidi’s plastic surgeries gave her a distorted quality, but she vowed to have more. Spencer grew a thick beard, became obsessed with crystals, and was eventually told to leave the series." OR: "By the time they announced they were (fake) splitting, followed by Spencer threatening to release various sex tapes, and Heidi (fake) filing for divorce, it seemed like they had ventured into, at best, Joaquin Phoenix-like, life-as-performance-art notoriety and, at worst, truly bleak Star 80 territory that could end with one or both of them dead." At least they still have their incredible orthodontia though. That, at least, you can usually take with you.

In any event, I literally feel like this story deserves a Pulitzer Prize—mmm-hmm, I did so just say that—because it at last reveals the big lie of our time about the massive infotainment industrial complex, and about the people who are sold as products.

14 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#1,720)

UnLESS this whole piece is just a last-ditch bid at some reality tv revitalization? The equivalent to a murderer finding jesus right before his parole review.

metoometoo (#230)

@deepomega I would love to write and produce a reality show about Speidi. There is so much unmined pathos left down there.

HiredGoons (#603)

We're ALL performance artists now!


HiredGoons (#603)

@HiredGoons: 'San Francisco Academy of Art University' asdksjflflasjkas!!!!

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Now do Karl Rove!

jolie (#16)

Oh wow okay ummm SOLD!

Right? I loved this! Though I worry about their understanding of the definition of the word "regret" if they tell us they have none, but then proceed to list about 50 regrets about things that basically ruined their lives forever.

City_Dater (#2,500)


Oh, they have no idea what words mean, which contributed to the deeply sad yet wildly entertaining tone of the interview.

When a journalist specifically makes it a point to brag about fact checking: "Everything in this article that could be fact-checked through multiple independent sources, has been." They probably shouldn't includes a serious factual error in the same article(one which could be fixed by looking in a phone book or at a map:)

"Heidi was raised in tiny Crested Butte, Colo., with little money and lots of megachurches."

-Crested Butte is a good three hours from the closest megachurch. It's in the middle of nowhere and populated almost exclusively by ski bums and trustifarians. So unless the author was counting the giant Crested Butte Mountain Resort as a megachuch perhaps the author could use a refresher course in fact checking…

queensissy (#1,783)

@Ashley Floraday@facebook
Thank you! I was trying to remember where the megachurches and slums of Crested Butte were located, and … nope.

blorp (#19,750)

"She didn’t make all these surgery mistakes, or crystal mistakes."
I am intrigued by all this crystal talk. What could it mean??

metoometoo (#230)

@blorp They went through a weird phase right before getting kicked off The Hills, in which they were obsessed with crystal healing and spent lots of money on crystals and thoroughly convinced everyone that they were without a doubt batshit insane.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

So now they are going to give Pulitzers for revelations about how neglible things are? What?

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