The Yogurt Industry Is Totally Out of Control!

“Yogurt science has gone too far. We have yogurts that make you go, yogurts from Greece that you cut like brie (mmm, fat), yogurts that taste like enchilada-style burritos. Do you remember WOW chips? What are we looking for from food? Do we really want food with which you can stuff yourself without getting full or without the benefits of energy? Look, like with Diet Cokes, sometimes you want to eat eight pounds of something without feeling like Gilbert Grape’s mom (sometimes I do! Sometimes humans are the shape of our own shame, like a shadow on the ground we need to cover with popcorn and gum wrappers and toast to PROVE WE EXIST), but what did we learn from WOW chips and the dairy-free sugar-free froyo fad from the early 2000’s? I’ll tell you what: nothing, because of these yogurts.”
The culture (LOL) of the yogurt industry is going to undo us all.