The Secret to Not Wearing Socks with Shoes

A reader writes! “Since moving to New York, I seem to see a lot of bare feet in dress shoes. Is this a recent trend? Or a New York thing? In this heat, you’d think… that would make for some stinky shoes. I will occasionally go sans-socks if I’m wearing slip-ons or sneakers or going to the beach or something. but at the office? I don’t know… Where do you stand on this?”

Well, I’ll tell you where I stand. But it’s embarrassing. There are these tiny, tiny fake mini-socks. THEY ARE FOR MEN. REALLY. And I wear them all the time.

So, among other manufacturers, Calvin Klein makes something hilariously called Men’s Dress Shoe Cotton Liners. I know that sounds kind of like a maxipad. (There are similar products for ladies, obvs, both for the feet and for the boobs even too, kind of! But ladies know these things, so here I address the simpler sex.)

Do you want to be stank, boys? Here are things ladies don’t like: terrible breath, terrible manners and terrible stank feet. Also several dozen other things but I’m not allowed to tell you those.

And sure. You will never, ever, ever feel less like a man than when you put these on. Honestly you will feel a little like a lady!

But! This is why I don’t have stank feet and stank shoes but still look sockless! They won’t necessarily hold up through, like, a three-hour workout and eight hours in the office and a night on the town, particularly? But they will prevent Death By Foot in general. It’s worth it.

Or I guess I could just wear real socks but that seems so unsporting in late July.