Tuesday, July 12th, 2011
7

In a World… One Nurse Dares to Enter bin Laden's Compound!

Every screenwriter in Hollywood's mind exploded last night, with the news that the CIA recruited a doctor in Pakistan to launch a fake hepatitis vaccination program in order to veryyyy slowly gain access to the bin Laden compound so as to collect DNA. There's a hot role there for, I dunno, Sheetal Sheth or Mindy Kaling or someone, because:

A nurse known as Bakhto, whose full name is Mukhtar Bibi, managed to gain entry to the Bin Laden compound to administer the vaccines. According to several sources, the doctor, who waited outside, told her to take in a handbag that was fitted with an electronic device.

Now the doctor is in jail in Pakistan for being an American stooge and also, oh right, lots of poor people didn't get their second and third round hepatitis vaccinations. THEY'LL BE FINE PROBABLY. Ooh, you can call it Abbottabad if it's all serious, which will remind people of Syriana, or if you go slapstick, you can call it I Stole Osama's Brain. I can smell the terrible trailer now, because it's laden with possibilities!

7 Comments / Post A Comment

Matt (#26)

Pretty sure you just ripped this off a Megadeth song.

coalbaron (#11,105)

Notice how you never see Pakistan and sanity in the same room together? Also, the CIA and ISI should stage joint incompetence exercises.

Is there any way that tiny Asian contortionist from the Ocean's films wasn't inside that bag the doctor made the nurse bring into the compound?
"We're here to give you a hepatitis shot."
**cue upbeat remixed Elvis music**

jfruh (#713)

Haha, yes, this won't feed into third-world people's growing distrust of Western-run vaccination programs, at all!

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

@jfruh As if the truth was ever important to anti-vaxers.

cherrispryte (#444)

Not that I know anything about how common certain names are in Pakistan, but there is already one very well-known Mukhtar Bibi (she's also known as Mukhtar Mai, if that rings any bells) and she's already a thorn in the Pakistani government's side (and a hero and fantastic advocate for women's rights, but that's besides the point.)

It's quite the coincidence that this nurse has the exact same name.

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