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If You Can't Stay Indoors…
So, this is happening:
The National Weather Service has issued an Excessive Heat Warning from 12PM-8PM tonight; heat index values between 105-110 are expected. Additionally, the NYS Department of Environmental Conservation has issued an Air Quality Health Advisory for NYC from 11AM-11PM today.
Tomorrow will be no better. As reluctant as I am to do this, I bow to the oppressive sun and offer a temporary dispensation: If you must, you may wear shorts. (Do please follow these guidelines though.) May God have mercy on our souls.
may god have mercy on your jorts.
OH MY GOD WHERE'S THE SIREN DOT GIF
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
As a Canadian, it is my duty to do as follows:
Balk, for once it's not the sun's fault. It's the humidity that's making life miserable, if not impossible. As a commenter aptly characterized it the other day, it's like living in a dog's mouth.
And ladies, I am lifting my bralessness sanction. Today, we all swing free.
My European manthong is the only adequate relief today. No way in hell I'm putting shorts back on.
@saythatscool Is that the over-the-shoulder type?
@cherrispryte Neon pink! I'll post some pics on tumblr!
@saythatscool A thong is too heavy for this weather. I'm shirt-cocking for the day.
@BadUncle Shirt-cocking is also acceptable. Just stay away from hip level fans.
Judging from that picture, the heat in New York must be JPressive.
And why have they all taken off their shorts on the putting green?
@SidAndFinancy Might as well jump in a brook, my brother.
@SidAndFinancy HHAHAA. The heat is always JPressive. THE BEST SUMMER SHORTS OF ALL SUMMER SHORTS.
@Flashman Because they had wedgies? (Still working on irons joke …).
up is down and black is white!!
And here I thought the heat made one pant.
@Clarence Rosario Is "groan-laughing" a thing?
@Clarence Rosario Even scroll_lock winced at that one.
@IBentMyWookie Is that like laugh-farting? Because my daughter does that, and I love it.
Alex, you weak bastard.
Just inseamly.
So if Balk is willing to bend amidst an excessive heat warning and an air quality health advisory, then surely the city should let us smoke indoors today, no?
@Matt Langer And let the rest of us murder you, yes!
@Matt Langer Smoke? When it gets this hot, you need a vaporizer.
@Matt Langer The Cooling Stations should have Smoking Stations.
@Matt Langer NO. Did you miss the part about the air quality? Have you not looked outside and noticed that you can see the air? NO SMOKING UNTIL SEPTEMBER.
It's going to be 110 here today. Once again, all of you bitchass Northerners have yet another reason to be happy you don't live in DC.
@cherrispryte 120 here in Toronto. PITY ME AND ALSO SEND ICE.
@IBentMyWookie
As a fellow Torontonian, I should point out that that "120" is the humidex and not the actual temperature (as far as I know, Humidex is only a Canadian thing) but still. it's technically only 99, but the air is Alan Thicke out there.
And yet: It is not snowing. So I shan't complain. I'M WEARING SHORTS. Are they jorts? Well, I'll let you guess (they are jorts.)
@djfreshie Also, at humidex of 49, we are frighteningly close to the record of 53. Oh boy, I'm glad I both Biked to work, and have a softball game later! Heat stroke = potential sick day tomorrow.
I have never seen more 40yr old knees as I saw last night in East Rutherford.
@dado Ooh, me and U2?
It's not even that hot here and I still wore Dickies cut-offs (Dorts?) to work. I am so sorry you guys, I will hang my head in shame now.
If we have to work in an office today (I have to work in an office today), can we carry our shorts dispensation over to the weekend?
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